#Calliope: yeah dad used to spend time with me all the time! he was also super affectionate

[neechees]

some may imagine calliope being atreus' younger sister in their au's, but i headcanon that since she was born first that makes her the big sis ;w; i also headcanon that pandora survived and is the adopted daughter of kratos. that makes her the eldest! so i like to think lil atreus having two big sisters, pandora and calliope ! and when they get much older, and atreus introduces his gf angrboda to the family, they're all overjoyed because that means another daughter/sister! i like to headcanon that pandora, calliope, and angrboda often have girls' day out together ;w; oh and you can bet thay kratos is the proudest father ever! he loves his children!

God you are SO right <3 Honestly if Calliope & Pandora were still alive or came back to life somehow & Kratos kept raising them, I think he probably wouldve been a better dad to Atreus & not as depressed as he was in gow 4. I also wonder if Calliope being alive means some of the ashes on his skin are somewhat gone? Like maybe he has some of his brown skin back, but hed just look REALLY anemic & grey instead of white.

Pandora & Calliope would've made great older sisters to Atreus! I dont really understand the reasoning behind Calliope being somehow younger than Atreus in those AU's other than that she was a child when she died, but if she lived she would've been an adult by the time he was born. I also think Kratos would've trained the girls, because you know he ain't letting his little Spartan girl NOT learn how to use a weapon, & he wants to help Pandora be self sufficient as well

I think Calliope is miserable in the cold Norway weather & is like "Father why couldn't we have stayed in Egypt or moved to Rome 😩". She likes that mild Greek weather. I imagine she has some kind of power relating to speech and words and has a way of speaking to people, & she's good at reciting poetry & history. I think she'd get along REALLY well with Faye and Mimir for this as well

For Pandora living with Kratos + Faye as well I always think of that scene in Easy A where Olive's little brother brings up that he's adopted & the dad is like

That scene but with Kratos in a deadpan tone dhtudtg5. (The scene is even complete with a strawberry blonde mom & auburn haired sibling fbdhfts). And by God we need all the girls together I LOVE them. You know Atreus's sisters would be teasing him about Angie lmfao

[ollieofthebeholder]

leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || Also on AO3

Chapter 46: Martin

Having Melanie definitely helps, in ways Martin hasn’t been expecting.

In the first place, having someone new in the Archives who needs to learn the ropes—never mind that they’re still basically making it up as they go in a lot of ways—gives him a new project to focus on, and one that he doesn’t have to stress about hiding from Elias. He suspects Melanie catches on a lot quicker than she lets on, and really there’s not that much to pick up on, but she plays it a bit stupid and asks a lot of questions. On Thursday, when Elias is distracted by his weekly meeting with the library staff (which goes on longer now that Diana is gone, especially since he doesn’t seem to be telling them oh, yeah, she’s been dead for at least a year and got replaced by a monster and I let it happen to torture the Archivist), she points out that if he thinks they’re spending time trying to get her up to speed, he’ll leave them alone a bit longer. Martin isn’t sure about that, but he lets it go.

Besides that, while he doesn’t want to admit it aloud, Martin likes having someone around who’s more on his level. Melanie might have a degree, but it’s what a lot of the people up in the Library would have disparagingly called a “fluff” degree, one where she didn’t have to do the same level of intense research or the same types of papers. It means that, like Martin, she doesn’t have the same precision and academic style that Sasha and Tim do to their research and notes. At the same time, she’s been running her own thing for so long that, unlike Martin (or at least unlike Martin when he started), she isn’t afraid of operating on a hunch and a load of guesswork.

She fits in well. She’s got a bit of a bite to her, but her sense of humor is close to Martin’s, and they have similar enough tastes that they can have decent discussions but differing enough tastes that they can have spirited but ultimately friendly debates. They’ve also discovered an ability to riff off of one another. Melanie even installed a little widget on her computer that keeps track of how long she and Martin can toss jokes back and forth with a straight face before one of the others begs them to stop or laughs so hard they can’t breathe. So far their record is forty-seven minutes, but it’s only been a few days.

It’s enough to keep him distracted while he’s at work, at least. Same with Tim, or so he says. And when they’re actually focusing on the research and filing and recording of statements, it’s hard to focus on anything else. The problem is that they really can’t let themselves get too deep into it and risk falling deeper into the Eye’s thrall, so they have to pace themselves. Martin’s pretty sure it’s harder for him than it is for Tim, at least at first, but when he sees Tim’s hands shaking as he tries to resist picking up a statement, he reevaluates that a bit.

Weirdly, it’s harder to resist without Sasha there—she takes Jon Prime’s suggestion and skips out for the rest of the week—which tells Martin she’s absorbing a lot of the Beholder’s power. He ends up enlisting Melanie to make sure he and Tim don’t take work home on Friday. She practically frog-marches them down the block, then hugs them both and tells them to take care before peeling off to do whatever it is she’s planning to do for the weekend.

The weekend is the hardest part. Martin and Tim try to distract themselves, and each other, but so much of what they do reminds them that Jon isn’t there and they haven’t heard from him, except occasional texts. In sheer desperation, they collect Charlie—who misses Jon almost as much as they do—and take him to the London Zoo on Saturday. It takes a little bit for all of them to relax, but soon they’re enjoying themselves, laughing and eagerly talking about the animals and exploring the exhibits. Martin’s phone isn’t going to have enough space for all the pictures he’s taking, but he decides it’s worth it.

“You have a lovely family,” a zoo worker tells Martin with a grin as he’s snapping a photo of Tim lifting Charlie up so he can high-five a monkey through the glass of the enclosure, and Martin thanks him for the compliment without thinking twice about it. It’s not until they’re halfway home, Charlie worn out from excitement and exertion and sound asleep against Tim’s shoulder, that it catches up to him and he realizes that people they encounter out in public lump them together as a family—that people weren’t seeing him and Tim as babysitters or even uncles, but as a couple and Charlie’s fathers.

What surprises him is that he doesn’t start panicking over it. He just thinks well, that’s a thing and moves on.

Sunday they take Charlie to the St. Patrick’s Day parade; none of them have any interest in it, it’s just something to do to keep their minds occupied. Tim gets into a chat with a woman whose son is a little bit older than Charlie and seems thoughtful afterward, but won’t say anything. He’s a lot clingier that night, though, not that Martin minds.

Sasha’s back on Monday, seeming none the worse for the wear, and they settle into the usual business of things. Tim and Sasha do their usual weekly lunch; when they get back, Melanie offers to buy Martin lunch and they end up talking about the weekend. It turns out she was at the parade herself, with Georgie, and they have a decent laugh about not having run into each other. She’s curious about Charlie, though, and Martin ends up showing her the pictures he took over the weekend.

“So when are you going to adopt this kid?” Melanie asks as they head back to the Institute. It’s the first day of spring, but you wouldn’t know it from the grey and gloomy weather. It’s also started raining—shocker—and they’re huddled into their jackets with the hoods pulled up because both of them are too stubborn to carry umbrellas unless it’s pouring buckets. “I mean, you said he’s an orphan, and his grandmother doesn’t seem to care much about him. And it’s obvious he adores you all. Could do worse than having the three of you as dads.”

Martin nearly misses his step, but manages to recover. “It’s not really something we’ve talked about. But…hypothetically, if we were going to try and convince Mrs. Calloway to let us take him off her hands, we’d probably want to wait until after we’re sure it’s safe, you know? He’s a little kid. He doesn’t need to be mixed up in…all of this.”

“Fair. Meanwhile, you can just keep spoiling the hell out of him and rescuing him when you can.”

“That’s the plan.” Martin holds the Archives door open for her.

Elias is unusually present all afternoon, which puts all of them on edge. It’s not until they’re home and making dinner that Tim says quietly to Martin, “I think something’s wrong with Jon.”

Fear lances through Martin’s chest. “What makes you think that?”

Tim shrugs and hands him the lettuce. “We haven’t really heard from him since he left, except in texts. Sasha says he got in touch with her over the weekend and asked her to look into something for him—apparently Gertrude got arrested while she was in America—and she said he sounded kind of off. And now Elias is lurking about? I don’t doubt for a minute that something’s gone wrong and Elias is trying to either make things worse or find out if we know.”

“Surprised he didn’t say anything,” Martin mutters. He bites his lower lip hard enough that he feels it split and forces himself to stop. “U-unless, unless he was trying to see whether or not we could See across the ocean or whatever.”

“I’d like to think we would. Know if he was in danger, I mean. But…God. We didn’t know he’d been kidnapped or threatened or any of it. Anything could be happening and we’re not there to help.” Tim’s voice breaks on the last words.

“He’ll be okay,” Martin says, less because he actually believes it and more because he needs to believe it. “He promised.”

“Yeah.” Tim leans into Martin for a minute, then goes back to cooking.

Somehow they make it through dinner, and a couple games of backgammon after, but Martin can tell they’re both still tense and he’s already resigning himself to a restless night for both of them as they start to settle in. Melanie’s going to give them hell in the morning, he can feel it…

As the thought passes through his mind, his phone rings. A phone call this late at night is never good news, and Martin’s anxiety goes into overdrive. Something’s happened to Jon, or to Charlie, or to Sasha or Melanie…or else it’s the home calling about his mum.

He grabs for the phone and answers without looking at the display. “Hello?”

“Martin?”

Just his name, but the soft draw of the first syllable is as familiar to Martin as his own heartbeat, and he sits up straighter. “Jon? Jon, are—h-hang on.” He makes eye contact with Tim, whose head jerked up as Martin said Jon’s name, and fumbles with the phone for a minute before activating the speaker button and holding it out in front of him. “Can you still hear me?”

“Yes, I hear you just fine.” Jon’s voice is a little tinny but perfectly clear.

Tim gives a near-silent sigh and sinks down onto the side of the bed next to Martin. “Jon, thank God. We were starting to worry about you.”

“Tim?” Jon’s sigh is far more audible. “I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean to—i-it’s been a rough week. How—is everything all right with you?”

“We’re fine. No problems.” Martin puts the arm not occupied with his phone around Tim’s shoulders, and Tim slides an arm around his waist. “Are you—how’s the—did you find anything?”

“I—I don’t know. The address Gertrude gave Zhang Xiaoling to forward anything to didn’t really pan out; it’s a short-term rental place, there must have been a dozen people through there since she and Gerard Keay stayed. The owner said he heard calliope music from West Pullman park a few nights when they were staying here, but nothing more than that.” Jon takes a deep breath. “I’m in Pittsburgh now. The records you found—that’s where Gerard Keay died, so I just…wanted to check up on that. The hospital—I could only find one nurse who remembered him being admitted. His cancer was pretty far advanced…he’d had a seizure, and they did their best, but he had another one and they couldn’t save him. The nurse was the one who told me Gertrude had been arrested—did Sasha tell you about that?”

“She did,” Tim says. “She also said you sounded…off.”

Jon’s silent for a moment. “I—was. I wasn’t feeling well. It took me far too long to realize, but—th-there was a statement I read while I was at Pu Songling, I thought I’d be okay, but a-apparently things have…progressed faster than I expected. I was—hungry, I suppose. I hadn’t thought to bring a statement. I was dizzy and weak and close to passing out, and—I opened the front pocket of my bag and found a statement in there. Was that—was it one of you?”

“Martin thought of it,” Tim says. “Right before you left, while you were showering, he asked if you’d brought a statement with you.”

“Tim’s the one who put it in your bag, though,” Martin adds.

“I should have thought of it. I should have—I really didn’t expect to be gone this long.” Jon sighs heavily. “Thank you both. Seriously. I—I might have been in actual danger if you hadn’t. But I’m okay now. I promise. I read the statement and…well, I’ve been asleep most of the day, honestly. I think I needed it.”

“Jesus,” Martin mutters. He has to close his eyes for a moment, and he feels Tim press closer to him. “The—did you, um, did you find out anything else about Gertrude?”

“Oh. Yes. She was arrested for trespassing—they found her in the morgue stood over Gerard Keay’s body, reading from a large, strangely-shaped book. Apparently his body was…mutilated, though they didn’t know if she did it, and she managed to talk them out of pressing charges somehow. The officer I spoke to doesn’t remember how. I—I may not have been able to draw as much power, being as drained as I was, but it’s also possible, even probable, that he really doesn’t remember.”

Martin looks at Tim, whose eyes reflect the worry Martin’s feeling himself. “So now what?”

Jon is silent again, but before Martin can repeat the question, he says, quietly but firmly, “I think it’s just another dead end, and I’ve decided it’s the last one. I’ve booked a ticket on a Greyhound to Washington, DC tomorrow. I’m going to stop in at the Usher Foundation, just in case they have anything that might be helpful, and then I’m coming home.”

Martin relaxes, and he feels a lot of the tension bleed out of Tim as well. “So you should be back…”

“Well, the bus doesn’t get into Washington until…hold on.” There’s the sound of fumbling and clicking. “I’d be there around five o��clock in the evening, so I likely won’t be able to even stop by the Usher Foundation until Wednesday morning. My intention is to be there as soon as they open. I don’t anticipate them having anything useful, honestly, so…if I’m fortunate, I’ll be home by Wednesday night. Worst-case scenario, early Thursday morning.”

“Call us when you know,” Tim says. “We’ll pick you up.”

“If it’s too early in the morning—”

“We’ll know enough in advance that we can set alarms. Come on, Jon, we’re not making you take the Underground home—or worse, a taxi. You’ve been away long enough. We’ll come and get you.”

“Okay. Okay,” Jon says softly. He clears his throat and adds, “How are you doing? How are—is Elias leaving you all alone?”

“For the most part. He was hovering today,” Martin answers. “We think he’s been watching you a bit, and…maybe just leaving us be to see what happens. He, um—we’ve got a new Archival Assistant.”

“We do? Who? Oh, God, did he transfer someone in?”

“Nope.” Tim pops the P hard. “He intercepted Melanie when she came by on Tuesday to read the Ivy Meadows file. Suggested she might want the job.”

“And she accepted?” Jon sounds horrified. “We warned her!”

“I know, but she’s good at this,” Martin tells him. “The researching and all. And…well, at least she knew what she was getting into. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, Jon.”

Jon sighs. “I trust your judgment. Other than that…outside of work. Are you two okay? You’re not…overloading yourselves or—or overworking or anything, right?”

“No. We’re taking it easy,” Tim promises. “Checking each other. Sasha did a bit much, got a bit close, but she took a long weekend and she’s fine. And Melanie stopped us from bringing anything home over the weekend. We actually spent it with Charlie. Took him to the zoo, the parade, that sort of thing.”

“The p—right, right, it’s St. Patrick’s Day weekend. How was it?”

They take turns telling Jon about the weekend. Martin’s already transferred the photos off his phone and onto his laptop to save space, but he promises to show Jon when he gets home. Jon laughs in all the right places.

“It sounds like you had fun,” he says, and there’s a definite wistful note to his voice. “It sounds like Charlie did, too.”

“He did,” Martin says. “He kept saying how much he wished you were there, though. He misses you. A lot.”

“I miss him, too.” Jon sighs. “And I miss both of you. Badly. I-it’s not…this hasn’t been an easy trip. Not just the, the usual issues of travel. Airport food and customs and layovers. Mechanical issues and weather delays and people who don’t seem to have grasped the concept of deodorant. Hotels and taxis and…all of that is bad enough. Open-ended travel is bad. But…then there’s the issue of just being me. Of being the Archivist.” He’s quiet for a moment. “It’s a lot harder to resist using these abilities when I’m alone. When I don’t have you two there to—counterbalance me, I suppose. It’s like I’m constantly balancing on a tightrope, and I know I have to keep walking the line, I know it’s what I’m supposed to do, but…”

“But?” Tim prompts when Jon trails off and doesn’t continue.

“The rope is only a few inches off the ground,” Jon says in a low voice. “Or that’s what it looks like. When I, when I look to one side or the other…it doesn’t look like I have so far to fall. I could so easily step off and be on the ground, and it wouldn’t hurt at all. I don’t have to balance so carefully. There’s a voice just over my shoulder, whispering for me to step off, to save my feet, that there’s more to life than this narrow back and forth…”

A chill runs up Martin’s spine. He recognizes the description, actually. What they’re doing, the way they’re all trying to avoid overusing their abilities…it does feel a bit like walking a high wire. Martin keeps telling himself not to look down, to take it slow, to put one foot in front of the other, because he knows if he loses his concentration for even a second, he’ll fall. In his mind, there’s a platform at either end of the wire, and Tim stands at one end and Jon stands at the other, so no matter which way he turns, one of them is there, reaching for him, waiting for him when he’s done. He’s safe as long as he focuses on them.

Somehow, he doesn’t think that metaphor will help Jon.

“Are you sure, though?” he asks. “A-about…the rope not being so high.”

“No,” Jon whispers. “If I look at my feet…if I look straight down, I know how deep the chasm goes, so deep I can’t see the bottom. It’s just—it’s so tempting, Martin. I d-don’t want to put the burden of my humanity on the two of you. I need to be able to do it on my own. But it’s hard. It’s so much harder when I’m alone. And the worst of it is that there’s a part of me, a tiny voice, telling me that it’s just me, that I’m alone, that no one will ever know if I give in to temptation, just for a moment. Just to try.”

Tim huffs. “That tiny voice sounds an awful lot like Elias to me, boss.”

“I know. A-and I know I’d…I don’t want to let you down.”

Martin can’t really explain what those words mean to him, but from the way Tim leans into him, he feels the same way. He swallows around the sudden lump in his throat and tries to sound practical. “We’ll talk about it when you’re home. But it’s okay, Jon. I promise it’s okay. You’re—you’re stronger than Elias wants you to be.”

“It’s so much easier to believe these things when you say them.” Jon laughs softly, but there’s a genuine lightness to it—like some of the dark dread has lifted from his mind. “It’s—God, what time is it? Five o’clock? You’re not still at work, are you?”

“Time difference,” Tim reminds him. “It’s ten here.”

“For God’s sake, why didn’t you tell me? You both need sleep,” Jon scolds. “You have work in the morning.”

“Fine, but only if you promise to go get food,” Martin retorts. “Actual food. You’ve been asleep all day, you probably need it. Get some food and take it easy.”

“All right. All right. I think there’s a restaurant attached to the hotel.” Jon takes a deep breath. “I’ll call you when I’m on the bus.”

“You do that,” Tim says.

“Please be careful, Jon,” Martin says softly. “We can’t lose you.”

“I promise,” Jon says, his voice solemn. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you both.”

He ends the call before Martin can respond, or actually process what Jon’s just said. The stunned look on Tim’s face indicates he feels the same. For just a second, Martin lets himself hope…but no, that can’t be. And even if it is, it’s a conversation all three of them need to have, not just him and Tim. They can’t make decisions like that without getting Jon’s input.

“Come on,” he says instead, reaching for the charging cable to plug his phone in. “Jon’s right, we need sleep.”

“Yeah,” Tim says, sounding a bit dazed. “Sounds good.”

They crawl under the blankets and turn off the light. Tim rests his head on Martin’s shoulder, and Martin runs a hand through Tim’s hair without conscious thought. For a long time, there’s no sound but their breathing. Martin assumes Tim has fallen asleep, but as relieved as he is to have heard from Jon, his mind is buzzing too hard to actually let him rest.

Suddenly, Tim murmurs, “She’d seen us before.”

“Who?” Martin is instantly on the alert, wondering who he needs to be worried about, who might be set to hurt them.

“The woman at the parade. She’d seen us before, when we took Charlie to the fireworks. She was asking where Jon was.” Tim’s head shifts restlessly. “She thought Jon was Charlie’s bio-dad and…”

Martin nods slowly. “One of the zookeepers complimented me on my ‘lovely family.’ I—I think a lot of people just…assume we are one.”

“I’m not upset by that.” Tim’s voice is drowsy. It’s like this is the last thing he had to get out to keep him from sleeping.

“No,” Martin agrees. There’s another lump in his throat and he has to swallow around it before finishing. “Me, neither.”

And maybe that is what’s blocking him from sleeping, because the next thing he knows the alarm is going off and sunlight is poking through the gap in the curtains and Tim is still warm and safe in his arms, and they’re one day closer to having Jon home.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Normally I open up the Homestuck 2 liveblog with a tongue-in-cheek comment about how reading HS2 is pain, but I just watched the debate and HS2 looks incredible by comparison, so let’s see if this good mood carries over. Looks like we’re on Candyland, too, Candy updates tend to be better (or at least bad in a funny way) than the oft-boring Meat updates, and personally, I think “The Omega Kids fuck around” is the best part of HS2 by yards.

Man, that lamp is almost perfectly positioned to draw a line through the image separating the two scenes (the dialogue for which is on two separate columns), but it’s just the tiniest bit off-center. I wonder if that was intentional and mobile-responsiveness is just a cruel mistress. It’s a cute touch, if so. I suppose the door (and the photos, which are the same height as the door) also serves the same purpose of having the two scenes be sectioned off. I don’t really know a lot about “scene composition” so maybe I should stay in my wheelhouse, but I think it’s divided very nicely

HARRY: and some of us aren't gods and shit. JOHN: i'm detecting a hint of judgement in your voice, there, harry anderson JOHN: don't you enjoy being a part of all this? finally getting to be in the thick of it all?

John, always dense, has not picked up on Harry Anderson’s demotion to Harry. He’s also inserting a lot of his own desires onto Harry, here, too. Vrissy is the one who wanted to be in the thick of it all (thematic idea to stick a pin into to see if it plays out: John should be mentoring Vrissy and Vriska should be mentoring Harry. Some evidence that HS2 is building this idea, but not a lot yet)

HARRY: now YOU look like you're hiding some extra commentary. JOHN: oh, i don't need to burden you with all the bureaucratic stuff, it's boring.

You gotta subscribe to John’s $20/mo Patreon tier for that, Harry.

JOHN: because here i am, sitting in the dugout, same as you. HARRY: in the dugout? JOHN: oh, or, uh... JOHN: what's a metaphor you might like better... HARRY: no, JOHN: i'm like the uhh...understudy. HARRY: dad. no, jesus, you don't have to do this. JOHN: or i got cast in as babysitter number 2 when i had auditioned for, i dunno, HARRY: yeah, please, i got the baseball metaphor. HARRY: i'm not a complete fucking nerd.

John doesn’t really “get” theater kids, I get. It makes me think a little of how John’s dad thought John was massively into clowns. Also, this is a cute.

JOHN: it's been really nice to get to spend so much time with you. HARRY: um. yeah, it's not so bad. HARRY: anyway, before you ruffle my hair or anything, it looks like things are getting a bit heated between the vriskas over there. HARRY: maybe we should offer them a snack to bring the mood back down? JOHN: me, mess up your hair when you’ve worked so hard on that look? i do know you at least that well, harry anderson HARRY: thank god.

This is also cute. Harry maybe the only person in the entire cast of Homestuck or Homestuck 2 to have a semi-normal relationship with his parents.

Speaking of semi-symmetry, the line where Harry says how happy he is to stay home almost lines up perfectly with Vriska being furious that she has to stay home. I wonder again if that’s a coincidence of if someone had a really clever idea that didn’t make it fully intact through editing (or was considered not worth the effort).��

VRISKA: How are you so calm right now? Your lusii were training you, right? And you’re a troll, you’re definitely five times stronger than a human! And if you’re my clone, you are way more 8adass than little miss Fussy Fangs.

Vriska is making several false assumptions here, but the most interesting one is that Vrissy is Vriska’s clone. She’s not. She’s descended from Vriska, and takes after Vriska very strongly, but it’s not a one-to-one thing.

VRISSY: 8ut I guess this Situation is Kind of Serious? VRISSY: There’s a whole Plan and Stuff Like that. VRISKA: Clearly not a good plan, 8ecause then I would 8e part of it!

Vriska.jpg

VRISKA: That’s just even more indication that they don’t know what they’re doing! Lalonde and Maryam have had however many sweeps to get older and stupider, 8ut from where I’m standing, it was literally only a few days ago that I was their commander! I am primed for the 8attlefield!

Okay, this line is across from John saying he’s in the dugout. There is absolutely an intentional, if not one-to-one strict, mirroring of these two conversations that’s actually really neat. I should go back to the other times HS2 has had conversations formatted like this to see if this mirroring has been happening all along. It’s a really good use of the format! I like this a lot! 

JOHN: so anyway, as you can see, this would have worked just fine! HARRY: no i think karkat’s right. this looks like shit, dad. JOHN: you know, me letting your earlier use of the word "fuck" slide wasn't a blanket approval for all cursing in front of me. HARRY: sorry. HARRY: try not to make such a shit plan, and i won't call it that. JOHN: haha wow.

The other thing I like is the John/Harry dynamic. 

HARRY: it's not like i think i'm any better! HARRY: i mean, i still can't believe i told vrissy and them to bring a dead celebrity to school. HARRY: what was i THINKING. JOHN: you were thinking it sounded hilarious! JOHN: but yeah, in hindsight, maybe not the best call. JOHN: maybe it’s genetic? HARRY: yeah. HARRY: i kinda can’t believe we’re all still alive, actually. HARRY: and how did YOU make it this far, being so bad at this? JOHN: i had my friends with me, i guess.

John your friends repeatedly tried to kill you and succeeded at least twice. 

He’d spent so long seeing mostly the best parts of Roxy in Harry Anderson. He forgot, he guesses, to look for himself in there, too. And if what they have in common right now is a lack of strategic foresight, hey, he’ll take it.

I’m slowly developing a theory that John is subconsciously the narrator of Candy, given how everything suddenly started going John’s way after Calliope left (and how the narrator seemed to really hate Gamzee last chapter). Remember, John has spoken in narration before in HS1, but never seemed to realize he was doing it. I probably need to essay this theory out at some point, but not now.

Oh, hey! Jane does have goons! And they’ve slightly change the way they draw Rose’s hair, so her head isn’t a perfect circle with lines on it. This looks much better. 

JANE: I haven't given a political speech in years, Ms. Lalonde. I don't know what you're referring to. I'm just a simple business woman. JADE: right with her own talk show JADE: and multi billion dollar merchant company and lobbying groups! JANE: That's what a business woman is, Jade, dear.

I know that this is supposed to be Capitalism Bad, but “You claim to be a businesswoman when you own a merchant company!”. Jade. Come on. This reads less as Jane going “Of course I’m evil, I’m a CEO” and more that Jade literally doesn’t know what a business woman is. 

JANE: You are on my territory, in the presence of my secret police, laying your hand on my investment.

Jane you don’t own “territory” do you not know what a businesswoman is either?

JANE: Your ship is in contested airspace. You will land, whereby it will be confiscated by the Royal Human Guard. After that you will be taken into custody. 

CONTESTED BY WHOM, JANE? WHO THE FUCK IS THE WAR BETWEEN?!

JADE: shut the fuck up for a minute and look up!

There’s a BIG-ASS spaceship like ten feet in front of you! Did you not notice until Jade pointed it out?

Also why does the Rebellion ship have the Crockercorp prongs on it?

JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society? JADE: i never asked you to do that! JADE: you offered! JADE: so stop calling me ungrateful for not sucking your dick over things i never asked for!

Sorry again, Jade, are you implying that you wouldn’t have given your daughter an education had Jane not offered? “Rose and Jade entrusted their daughter to Jane, who they were at war with” is an enigma of a plot point.

The world is watching her be dressed down by a couple blood traitor rebels, one of which has very prominent dog ears. Jane wonders if either of them are even recognizable to the assembled as two of the old gods. One of her PR managers had recommended that she keep her look as static as possible, so that people can always recognize her as Jane Crocker, Captain of Industry, Creator of Earth C, Maintainer of Peace and Plenty.

Jade has always had dog ears what the fuck? I guess this is supposed to be Jane’s warped thinking.

So, anyway, Kanaya fake-holds Tavvy hostage, Jane buys the threat as real and they build up like Jane is going to sacrifice her own son for PR points but she ultimately stands down and lets everyone go. It’s left intentionally vague whether or not she was always going to do this, or if she didn’t want to do it in front of Jake, or if the presence of Jake stirred something in her that made her change her mind. I like the ambiguity. 

This was a very “Homestuck 2″ update. The plot of kind of nonsense, but it’s carried by the character interactions and a bit of cleverness.

[daisyxbuckley]

O’Death//Calliope Kane Book 2

Holy fucking shit guys. Like I don’t even have an excuse. Here is the next chapter for book two. This chapter is SUPER long but oh well. I ended up getting carried away with it. Tell me what you think! Enjoy!  Description: The Grounders have been defeated. The people on the Ark have landed safely….so where is the rest of The 100? Calliope and her friends must work in a race against time to save everyone..no matter the cost.

Masterlist

*****************************************************************************************

Bellamy slunk through the woods with Lincoln, trying to keep up. The entire time though his mind was still back at the camp with Callie. He knew that it was the best choice leaving her behind. But that still didn’t mean that he wasn’t worried about her. Lincoln must've noticed because when they stopped for water, he kept looking at the other man. “If you keep your mind back at camp, then you won't be able to focus on what’s going on here.” Bellamy looked at him and shook his head with a small smile on his face. 

“I didn’t realize it was that obvious.” 

“Octavia told me about you guys when you were up on the Ark. About how you became friends and what happened after.” Lincoln said quietly. “Why did you leave her?” The question honestly wasn’t a surprise to Bellamy. It was just something that most people never asked him, and it was a question that he never really liked the answer to. 

“I guess I was blaming her for something that was out of her control. It was easier to blame her for something that was my fault.” And that was the truth. Bellamy knew that he was careless that day, he knew that he shouldn’t have risked letting Octavia go out with everyone else...but he just wanted to make his sister happy. “Her dad was the one who pushed the button to float my mom, so it made it easier.” 

“It seems like you had suffered enough and didn’t want to lose her too, so you pushed her away.” Lincoln said as he looked around, making sure the coast was still clear. “But Callie seems to understand why you did what you did.” 

Bellamy nodded, knowing that he really didn’t have to say much to try and justify his actions with the other man. “Hopefully i'll be able to spend a long time making it up to her.” He said before he wiped his hands and stood up. “Okay, I need to know, we make it to the intake door without any of the real reapers seeing us. What happens next?” 

Lincoln got up and walked over to where a dead deer carcass  was. He started slowly cutting it open and started putting the blood on his face. “I kill everyone and you slip in.” He said as he started to put the blood on Bellamy’s face. “This needs to be quick though, we don’t want to give off any indication that we were there.” Bellamy nodded as he watched Lincoln pack up and head towards where they needed to go. As they started into the woods, Bellamy gently grabbed Lincoln’s arm. 

“Thank you for saving my sister. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t found her.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry for not trusting you before.” 

“We have all made mistakes since meeting, the difference between us and the enemy is that we learn from them and we work together.” Lincoln said before heading off with Bellamy following. 

****************

The tension inside the building was palpable. Callie honestly didn’t know what would happen next, but she wouldn’t be surprised if someone lunged at someone soon. Lexa’s warriors had been less than thrilled that Lexa had wanted to work with them, but at the same time the girl didn’t care. Their friends were in there as well as a lot of Lexa’s men and if working together meant they all were able to get them all out then so be it. Callie watched Lexa and Clarke go back and forth as they argued over a plan. Though she tried to pay attention the girl’s mind kept wandering back to where Bellamy was. She knew that it would be a minute before she actually heard from him, but that didn't help the pit in the bottom of her stomach. They shouldn’t have to fight for survival anymore, yet here they were. Callie zoned out so much that she didn’t realize Clarke was raising her voice in frustration till she looked up and saw the blonde storm out of the tent. Catching Major Bryne’s eye, Callie nodded as she motioned for the woman to follow Clarke. She waited till they were both out of sight when she finally walked over to Lexa. 

“What’s going on?” Callie asked as people started filing out of the room. 

“Clarke is putting too much faith in your friend. She refuses to have a plan that doesn’t end up saving everyone in the end.” Lexa said looking at Callie as the redhead’s eyes were trained on the door. “She could be a great leader...but she needs to learn to make the hard sacrifices.” 

Callie knew what Lexa was talking about. From the moment they all landed, Clarke wanted to make sure that EVERYONE was safe. Even if it wasn’t the best for the whole group. “Yeah, I know. But is that such a bad thing in this world?” 

“It is when you want to stay alive. Calliope, you all lived in space in a place that wasn’t in danger of being taken over, where you didn’t have to make sure that you were the strongest person. You were all just a danger to yourselves.” Lexa said as Callie finally looked at her. “But down here..it’s different. We have been fighting this enemy for as long as I can remember and in this world showing weakness will get you killed.” 

Callie knew that Lexa was right. She knew it because she already saw what happened when you were weak down here. When you tried to play devil's advocate, but she hated the fact that it had to be that way. 

“Bellamy wont let us down...he will get inside the mountain.” Callie said quietly. She felt a hand on her shoulder as she looked at Lexa’s face. It wasn’t malicious or cold, but sad. 

“Callie..you and Clarke could both be great leaders. But you need to realize that you can’t always win a war without sacrifice. You need to be able to make the tough choices. If we don’t hear from Bellamy soon then we are going to go with my plan.” She said as she squeezed the other girl's shoulder and walked out. Callie stayed in the room for a little longer before she headed back out into the night. Heading back to the small fire, Callie leaned against the tree and closed her eyes trying to think. All she wanted was to be back at base, chilling out with her friends and not worrying anymore. And now she had to figure out if they were all going to survive into the morning.

Feeling a figure sit down next to her, Callie didn’t even have to look before she knew who it was. James didn’t say anything, knowing Callie would talk when she was ready. He watched her a bit in silence as she kept her eyes closed. Her breathing had slowed and for a second, James thought she had fallen asleep till she spoke. 

“You’re staring at me again.” She said as her eyes stayed closed. 

“I’m not staring...I was merely glancing.” James said as he tried to look away. “Besides you look like you’re about to drop dead on your feet so I’m worried about you.” 

Callie sighed as she finally opened her eyes and looked at him. “James, I'm fine, I just need to get some sleep. You should too.” She said standing up. “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.” She didn’t want to stay and diagnose her mental health. All she wanted was to sleep and hopefully wake up in the morning and know that Bellamy was still alive. Heading to the hut that Lexa had given the group, Callie slipped inside hoping that sleep came quickly. 

*************

It felt like they had been walking for hours when Lincoln finally stopped. Bellamy looked around in the dark and noticed the man in front of him go rigid. “What’s wrong, do you see anything?” He asked as Lincoln reached down and grabbed a vial of red liquid. Without thinking he crushed it and watched the drug seep out. 

“You okay?” Bellamy asked as he moved closer. 

Lincoln didn’t look at Bellamy as he looked at the entryway in front of him. “As soon as they open the intake doors, we attack. Once they close I'll make it look like you escaped.” 

“Then what?” 

“Then the raiding party.” Lincoln turned around and started heading in another direction. “We need to get out of here. It’s too dangerous.” 

“What, wait no. Lincoln we are so close.” Bellamy said with urgency in his voice. “Please.” 

“I thought I could do this, but I can't. We need to go before we have to fight our way out.” Lincoln looked at Bellamy with sadness. ‘It’s over.” 

“No it's not!” Bellamy yelled “You can join them. Listen to me when they bring out the red you grab it and you run like hell. The reapers will go nuts, the grounders will run and the Mountain Men will have to deal with it. No one is looking for a grounder running into the mountain.” He thought that maybe he had Lincoln back, that maybe the plan might still work. At least until he saw Lincoln coming closer and put a bag over his head. Feeling his hands be tied behind his back, Bellamy knew that struggling against the other man when he already had the drug in his system was pointless, but he was still trying to form a plan. People were counting on him...Clarke and Octavia...Callie. Bellamy felt Lincoln push him forward so he started walking. It wasn’t until he heard the voice saying to harvest them that he really felt a sense of fear. 

*************

It was that next morning that they all had decided to move out. The plan was to head back to Camp and wait and see if Bellamy had contacted them yet. Callie tried to ignore the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, she knew that she needed to have faith in him but she was also worried that the last time she saw him was the last time. Clarke had shown up that morning with Lexa, both looking worse for wear, but at least they were back. It was then that Lexa felt that they would be safer with their own people. Everyone agreed once they found out what had transpired the night before. Major Bryne was dead, and Clarke had yet another attempt on her life. Though the two girls were still not talking, Callie and Clarke had sat down together with Lexa to try and get a plan on how to get them home. Eventually they decided that Lexa would send some riders with Clarke, James and Callie to get them all back to the camp safe. From there they would figure out if Bellamy was able to get inside and if not then they were going to go with Lexa’s plan. 

Then ended up heading out shortly after Clarke and Lexa had gotten back to camp. Callie rode on one side of Clarke with Abby on the other side. James was positioned slightly behind Callie keeping a look out with some of the other riders. They had been going most of the day, Callie knowing the blonde wanted to reach the camp as fast as she could, when Abby finally stopped her horse. Callie stopped as well but noticed the irritated look on Clarke’s face before looking over at James. 

“Mom, why are we stopping?” 

“Clarke, you’re not invincible. You need to rest as well.” Abby said with a tired tone. She was tired of fighting with her daughter but she knew that tensions were high. The woman looked around at the other riders who were looking at Clarke for what to do next. 

“I’m fine, we are almost home anyways.” The blonde said curtly. Looking at her mom's face she sighed and looked at the riders. “Our scouts patrol these woods. Be careful  who you shoot.” 

The riders nodded as they went off to patrol while they rested. Clarke got down from her horse as Callie followed and walked over. She took the bag from Clarke and took a long drink from it, not realizing how thirsty she was. 

“When was the last time you ate?” Clarke asked. Her voice shocked Callie a bit as they hadn’t really spoken since everything happened.

“Probably the last time you did.” The redhead said with a shrug. James had been trying to get her to eat but all she could think about was if Bellamy was okay or not, if their friends were still alive...all the shit that had happened in the past few months. “It’s fine. I’ll eat when we get back to camp.” 

“You better.” Was all Clarke said before she turned around. “Mount up!” 

Everyone started moving as Abby came back. “Girls you both need to rest. You haven’t actually stopped moving since we got to Tondoc.” She looked over at James with a pleading face, but he just shrugged knowing that once both girls were determined there was no stopping them. 

“Mom, we need to get back to make sure Bellamy was able to get inside. We need to go now.” Clarke said as she got back up on her horse. 

"Listen to me. I know you don't think you need my protection anymore, but you do. You have to trust that I know what's right for us." Abby said, pleading with her daughter. Callie stayed silent beside Clarke. She knew that Abby was right in a way, but her overwhelming need to hear Bellamy’s voice again was pushing her the last part of the way back to camp. She would rest when he was back safe. Clarke looked like she was about to respond again when chaos erupted. A shot rang out and Callie felt herself fall to the ground, James on top of her as Octavia and Clarke headed off in the direction where the bullet came from. Callie lifted her head and noticed that one of the riders was bleeding on the ground. James was still holding his weight on Callie till she started moving around. 

“James, James get off me now.” Callie yelled. She felt his body lift up as she scrambled over to the rider. The wound in his chest was glaring and there was so much blood. Last time she saw it this bad was when they found Jasper. Taking her t-shirt off, Callie bunched it up and put pressure on the wound. “Hey, focus on me.” She said as she tried to stop the bleeding. “What's your name? Tell me your name okay.” The man looked at her with a sad look on his face, almost as if he knew what was coming. Callie watched as the light left his eyes and his body went limp, but she still didn’t move her hands. Too much death, so much death. Callie looked up as she noticed the way that Octavia and Clarke went. Taking off running, she followed the screams as she came across the group. Indra looked up and noticed the blood on Callie as the girl shook her head as she got closer. 

“What’s going on?” She asked as she watched Abby patch up the suit of the man screaming on the ground. 

“This is the man who shot at you. The mountain man who killed yet another one of my people.” Indra sneered. “And your doctor wants to save him after he should die.” 

“No, I see why.” Callie said leaning down. She grabbed the suit that the man was wearing and forced him to look at her. “I just watched someone who never deserved to die, bleed out because of you. So you’re going to tell us everything you know or i’m going to cut your suit open and make you suffer as you die.” Standing back up she nodded at the riders to take him away as she finally faced back towards Indra. “When we get the information we need out of him, he’s all yours.” 

“Callie..sweetie you can’t just make that choice.” Abby said quietly as she moved forward. “The council needs to decide.”

“You know what, I am SO SICK of the council. Ever since you guys got down here, everything has been so fucked up it’s not even funny. You don’t listen to us when we tell you how things are run, you don’t listen to us when we tell you there is a real threat. You sit there and treat us like children when we have been through so much more the last few months than you EVER will.” Callie yelled. No one dared to say anything against it because they knew she was right. “He will give us information on how the mountain works, and when he’s outlived his usefulness then Indra will decide his fate for killing another person.” She said as she looked at Indra. “And if anyone has an issue with that, send them to me.” 

The group stared at the redhead for a second trying to figure out what to say as the man was still whimpering on the ground. “Abby, get him back to base now.” Callie said as the woman just nodded and motioned for the other riders to help her. “James, go with her.” He opened his mouth as if to argue but changed his mind once he saw her face. 

“Mom, he HAS to have a transfusion of our blood.” Clarke yelled as she turned back to the group. “Okay, so what the hell was that?” 

“Clarke...you and Lexa were the targets.” Octavia said slowly. “They were trying to get rid of you guys.” 

“Indra, we need to warn Lexa.” Callie said quickly. The other woman nodded as she spoke to some of the riders and they took off. “Clarke, we need to get you back to camp, now.” The last thing they needed was for Clarke to get hurt. Thankfully the blonde nodded and didn’t put up a fight as they headed back to the others and continued their journey. Callie just hoped that they weren’t too late. 

***********

The drilling woke Bellamy out of a restless sleep. The pain in his leg is what woke him up further. Opening his eyes, he looked around and noticed that not only was he in a cage, but so were so many other people. Looking to his left, he noticed that someone was staring at him, speaking Trig. “I-I can’t understand what you’re saying.” He said weakly. She glared at him and it seemed as if a sigh of annoyance left her mouth. 

“Sky person.” 

“Ah, I see no one told you that we are on the same side now.” Bellamy said as he chuckled a bit. He knew that he was losing time, he should have contacted the others by now. “I need to figure out a way out of here.” 

“And what happens when you do?” The girl asked carefully. 

“I’m going to kill everyone in this mountain.: 

****************

Everything was insane the second they came back. Callie went with the man they took as Abby directed Jackson to prep the stuff for the transfusion that they needed. To keep Emerson alive he needed some of their blood to heal. “I’m going to need a lot of blood. Callie can we use yours? I know you’re a universal donor so I need you to do a transfusion for Emerson to stay alive.” Abby said looking at the redhead as she nodded and headed back over to Jackson and got set up. As he was sticking her in the arm with the needle, Raven came in through the doors and looked around shocked. 

“What the hell happened?” She asked as she walked over to Emerson who was withering on the table. 

“He got a tear in his suit. Right now that's the only thing keeping him alive.” Clarke said. “Anything from Bellamy?” 

“No, I came to see what was going on.” 

“Well then why are  you here?” Clarke snapped as Raven glared at her. 

“Octavia took over for me. Why don’t you just chill.” She said back as she came over to where Callie was sitting. “What are you doing?”

“Our blood heals them.” Callie said as she watched it drip into the container. “We need enough to keep him alive to figure out what he knows.” 

“How the hell are we gonna treat the guy if we can’t touch him?” Jackson asked as he stood next to Callie with his arms crossed. “We gotta figure out a way to give him the transfusion.” 

“I can rig up some scrubbers in the airlock. Give me 20 minutes.” Raven said as she took one last look at Emerson and walked out of the med bay. Callie watched her go as she caught Clarke’s eye. The blonde walked over and looked at her friend with worry. 

“You look paler than usual.” She said as she checked Callie over. 

“Well, that’s what happens when you decide to be a blood bag.” Callie said laughing. Looking over, she noticed Indra whispering by her fallen friend. “Indra, come here please.” The woman looked up and came over, though she didn’t look happy about it. 

“I’m sorry about your friend...I wish I could have done something.” Callie said quietly. “And I understand that you want to see Emerson suffer, and I promise that once this is done you are able to do what you want. But we need him alive and cooperative so we can figure out how to save BOTH our people.” 

For a second, Callie wondered if Indra was going to brush her off as usual. Instead the woman surprised her. “I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand. Just promise me that he will not leave here alive when you are done.” 

“I promise.” She said as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Realizing how tired she was, Callie knew she needed to stop. “Jackson...i think you guys have enough to start for right now.” He nodded quickly as he came over to her and bandaged her up after removing the needle. 

“Cal, you need to eat something now.” He said as he wrapped the puncture wound. “Otherwise you’re going to pass out from the blood loss.” Callie nodded as she stood up and wobbled a little. 

“Abby, you’re good right?” She asked as she headed towards the door. She knew that she could grab some food and be back in a bit. When Abby excused her, Callie took off towards the radio room. If anything she could take over for Octavia and the other girl could grab the food. Entering the radio room, Callie found the younger girl hunched over the radio like she was afraid to miss something. Sliding a chair over, she smiled at the girl as she leaned back. 

“Anything?” 

“Nope..and the deadline that Lexa gave is running out.” Octavia said, finally looking at Callie fully. “You look like death.” 

“Yeah, I was kinda hoping you would go grab some food for me if I took over here.” The redhead said with a slight smile. 

Nodding Octavia stood up and patted Callie’s shoulder before walking towards the door. “Anything specific?” When Callie shook her head, the girl shrugged and left. Callie scooted closer to the radio, assuming the same position that Octavia had just been in. 

“Come on Bell, where are you?” 

***************

Bellamy gasped in pain as the guard tased his side. He wanted nothing more than to lash out at him, but whatever they had put in his system was making the world move slower and Bellamy knew that his reflexes were off. Trying to fight through the fog, he was relieved when he heard a voice and the guard turned his attention away from him. Once he heard footsteps walking away, he was a bit shocked when someone spoke to him. 

“Who are you, you’re from the ark aren’t you?” The girl asked. Bellamy nodded trying to sit up and look at her. “Do you know Jasper?” 

“Yeah, he's a friend of mine. I’m Bellamy.” He said looking around. “You have a name?”

“Maya.” 

“Mind getting me down Maya?” Bellamy asked as she nodded and started to unlock the cage he was in. Bellamy groaned as he hopped down and stretched as he looked around. “We need to go. I need to get to the control room.” 

Maya nodded as they tried to head towards the exit. Hearing the door open, Bellamy quickly got back into his cage and pretended to lay down. 

“Lovejoy, hey.” Maya said casually. 

“What are you doing in here? You don’t have clearance for this area.” The guard asked as he walked over and stood in front of Bellamy's cage. 

“I wanted to get a good look at him, but it seems like he’s dead.” She said with fake sadness. 

“It would seem he is.” Lovejoy said as he opened the kennel door and went to reach for Bellamy. The second he grabbed him, Bellamy sprang up and knocked the man back, jumping forward. Bellamy wrapped his arm around the guy's neck and slowly brought him to the ground, refusing to let go until he stopped moving. Getting up, he looked around and made sure no one was coming before he looked at Maya again. 

“Help me move him. We need to strip his clothes so I can use them.” Bellamy said as he started to get the clothes off. “We need to hide his body.” Maya nodded as she rushed over. Within minutes they had the body stripped within minutes. After they moved the body, Bellamy quickly changed and the two headed for the exit again. 

“Okay, you’ve done enough.” Bellamy said looking at Maya. “You need to go before you get into any more trouble.” Maya shook her head.

“Not a chance, you don’t even know where you’re going anyways.” She said crossing her arms. 

“So draw me a map.” 

“Nope, i’m in this with you.” Maya was defiant, and it honestly reminded Bellamy of Callie. She wasn’t one that could be told what to do either. The stare down lasted a full minute before Bellamy groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. 

“Fine. I need to get to a radio to contact Callie and Clarke. I have to tell them I made it inside.” He said looking around. “We heard Jasper’s SOS.” 

"I helped them set that up. I know where it is. Bellamy... your people are disappearing, two so far-- Monty and Harper. I thought they'd be in here, but--" Maya trailed off. “I haven't been able to find them anywhere.” 

Bellamy chewed on his lip before deciding what to do. “Take me to the others, now. I need to make sure they are okay before I contact camp.” 

“Their dorm is on the way to the radio. I'm sure we can sneak in.” Maya said as they both started off down the hall. Before they got any further, Maya stopped him. “Wait, roll your sleeve up.” She said as she pulled a knife out. “This is going to hurt.” Bellamy barely had any time to register the pain before Maya had the tracking chip out of his forearm. He quickly wrapped some ripped fabric from his shirt around it before looking at Maya. 

“Tracking device?” He asked skeptically as she smashed the chip. 

“It will trip alarms once we start moving.” She said carefully. They started walking again before she spoke again. “How did you know who I was?” 

“Clarke. She said Jasper couldn’t stop talking about this girl named Maya.” Bellamy said. He looked over and noticed the grin that was on the girls face. He knew that grin, he got it every time he and Callie spoke. 

"There are three hundred and eighty-two people inside this mountain. If any of them realize you're not one of us, you're dead.” Maya said as they walked quickly. “We're on level two. The dorm is at five. There's a camera in the upper right-hand corner. Keep your head down." Bellamy nodded as they hurried towards the dorms 

*************

Callie had eaten the sandwich that Octavia had brought her and ended up camping out in the chair next to the radio. It had been almost 3 hours since they were back at camp on top of the whole day that he had been gone prior. She was trying not to show how worried she was, but it was hard. Getting into the mountain was dangerous in itself and if it was anything like Clarke said, it was going to be harder to stay alive. Hearing the door open, Callie turned when she heard Raven and Clarke’s voice. 

“Right, I can totally replicate this frequency.” She said as they both looked at the radio in front of them. 

“Good, cuz if we can use that to incapacitate the reapers then the tunnels will be open for us to take.” Clarke said quickly. “That could help us in the end.” Raven nodded as she took off towards a different part of the shop when Octavia came back into the room. 

“Callie...any word from Bell?” 

“Nope.” Callie got up and stretched as she tried to wake her body up. “It’s  been basically radio silence.” 

“Lincoln is still missing too. He should have been back by now.” Octavia said as she sat down in Callie’s chair. “I really hope they are okay.” 

“They are gonna be okay.” Clarke said quietly. 

“They better be.” Raven quipped. “Our whole plan rides on Bellamy getting into that mountain.” The two girls glared at each other before Callie got in the middle and distracted them. 

“Guys, now is not the time. I understand that we are all stressed but we need to work together.” She said as the girls stances relaxed. Before she could say anything else, a voice came over the loudspeakers. 

“Chancellor Kane, Calliope Kane and Clarke Griffin to the med bay.” 

Callie and Clarke looked at each other as they both headed out towards medical. Getting there, they noticed Emmerson smiling in his chamber as Abby stood at the table. Kane stood next to her, looking at something when the girls walked in. Callie looked at Emerson as they walked over to where their parents were. 

“Did he say something?” Callie asked as her dad looked her over. She knew that she probably still looked bad, but she honestly looked worse than she felt. 

“No..but his blood did.” Abby said sliding the sample over so the girls could look at it. “Jackson found genetic markers that only come from someone who was born on the Ark.” 

“It started.” Clarke looked at Callie with fear in her eyes as Kane reached back over to look. 

“Are  you sure it didn’t come from the transfusion that Callie gave him?” 

“No, this was taken before the transfusion. We had to test him to make sure that Callie could donate her blood.” 

“They are bleeding our friends.” Clarke yelled. Abby walked over and put her hands on her daughter's shoulders with a careful look. 

“Sweetie, we don’t know that.” 

“Yes we do. We are genetically engineered due to how we grew up. They weren’t” Callie said carefully. The look on Emersons face was pure smugness, and it lit a fire of hate inside of the girl. Grabbing a pair of scissors off the table, the redhead started over to where the man was. 

“Callie! What the hell are you doing?!” Kane yelled as he rushed over to his daughter. Callie glared up at her dad as she tried to move away from him. 

“I’m killing him. If he's not going to be useful, there is no reason to keep him alive.” 

“Callie, you need to calm down. You aren’t in charge here.” Her father said sternly. “We have to do things our  way.” 

“Your way can go fuck itself. How about that.” Callie spat out as she slammed the scissors back down on the table and walked out of the room. She entered the radio room to Octavia and Raven’s shocked look and about a minute later Clarke followed. 

“It’s over. They already started bleeding them.” Callie said quietly. “There's nothing else we can do.” The words were barely out of her mouth when Raven was in front of her with a look of rage. 

"No! You don't get to give up. You killed Finn, and I didn't give up. I'm building a damn tone generator. You do your job!" 

Clarke went and stood next to the two trying to defuse the situation. “Raven, she's trying. So am I...but we are out of options.” Before any of them could respond, Callie’s heart dropped as she heard a voice on the radio.

“Camp Jaha, this is Mount Weather. Can anyone hear me?” The three girls looked at each other for a split second before running over. 

“Holy shit.” Raven said as Clarke grabbed the mic.

“Bellamy?” 

********

“Clarke, is that you?” Bellamy breathed a sigh of relief as he realized he finally got a hold of them. Clarke’s voice was staticy as she responded but it was her. Maya was smiling next to him as she kept an eye out for anyone coming. 

“It is, are you alright?” 

"I'm fine. That's it for the good news.” Bellamy said quickly. “We have to talk fast. Something has changed. Jasper, Monty, everyone, they just locked them in the dorm."

“But they are alive?” 

“"I think so, for now. Maya says that they're already using their blood, and things are gonna get ugly in here real fast." Clarke was quiet for a second and Bellamy thought that maybe he lost her. “Clarke, are you there?”

“Yeah, Maya is with you?” 

"She helped me escape. If not for her, I'd be dead. And, Clarke, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn't kill everyone. Please tell me we have one." Bellamy was desperate at this point to get everyone out. 

“We got you Bell, but we can’t do anything to you to disable the acid fog.” Clarke said as Bellamy and Maya looked at each other. “Raven is going to help you with that.” 

“Got it, what else are we doing?”

"You have to figure out a way to free the Grounder prisoners. There is a whole army inside that mountain and they don't even realize it." Clarke said. The line was staticy but Bellamy still knew what she meant. 

“Clarke...where’s Callie?” The question hung in the air as Maya looked at the worried face on the man. Bellamy ignored her hoping that Callie was at least at camp. 

“Bell?” The voice on the other end knocked the wind out of him. She was okay.

“Hey Red. Long time no talk.” He said laughing. Hearing her laugh on the other end helped relax him. “I don’t have a lot of time, but I want you to know that I'm okay and I'll be back with you soon.” 

“Please don’t do anything stupid.” Callie said quickly. She knew that her time was short and she needed to make it quick. “Clarke and I have a plan, we have one of the mountain men here...we are coming for you guys Bell.” 

Bellamy smiled at her voice. He knew that she was trying to keep it together, but that's how she was. “I know. I gotta go love.” 

***********

“I know. Here’s Raven...I’ll see you when you’re home.” Callie said as she handed the mic to Raven. “Clarke..let's do this.” 

“Wait, where are you guys going?” Raven asked as the two girls left the room.

“We are going to make them focus on the outside instead of inside.” Callie said as she stalked off to Med bay. The girls entered the med bay to the shocked faces of their parents. Callie ignored her dad as she walked over to the sealed chamber. Motioning to the suit that was in there with him, Callie spoke. 

“Put it on.” She yelled as Emerson looked at her with confusion. 

“Callie, what are you doing?” Kane asked as Emerson shook his head no at her request. Ignoring her father, Callie shrugged. 

“Fine, then I’ll put it on you.” She said as she pressed the button to open the chamber. Kane and Abby both lunged forward to stop her but it was too late. She was already inside and had the man almost all the way in the suit. Her father was yelling at her to stop but Callie ignored him. Ignoring Emerson’s screams as she sealed him up in the suit, Callie stepped back and glared at him. “You’re coming with me.” She said as she grabbed his arm. Exiting the chamber, Kane and Abby were trying to stop Callie as Clarke stared in awe. 

“Get out of my way dad. Now.” Callie growled. She kept a strong grip on the other man’s arm as she stared her father down. 

“Callie, I don’t know what you’re doing, but you can't take him anywhere. He hasn’t told us anything.” Kane said, he honestly didn’t recognize the girl that was in front of him right now. Clarke finally snapped out of whatever trance she was in and walked over to Callie. 

“He doesn't need to. He just needs to deliver a message to them.” She said sternly. The blonde walked over and stood in between Callie and her father. Callie ignored them as she focused on Emerson. She made sure everything was air locked as she ignored him asking for help with the radiation burns that he suffered when she got him into the suit. 

“Can you hear me alright? Because I wanna make sure you get this.” She said quietly. Emerson nodded as Callie’s face hardened more. “Good. "I have a message for your leader. We're coming for him. You're watching us, but you haven't seen a thing. The Grounder army is bigger than you think, and even if you could find it, your acid fog can't hurt them, and now, thanks to you... neither can the Reapers. So you have one last chance. Let our people go, and we'll let you live. It's just that simple."

“I got it.” He said quickly 

“It’s an eight hour walk back to Mt Weather. You’re gonna do it in six.” Callie said, stepping back. “That’s as much air that you have in your container.” 

“Six..how am I going to deliver your message? That's not enough time.” The man looked panicked now as he looked around. 

“That’s not my problem. Now go!” She said as she watched him run away. Octavia walked up to Callie without taking her eyes off the man's retreating form. 

“How is this going to help my brother?” She asked as she finally looked at the other girl. 

"I just told him we have a secret army to worry about. The more they're looking at us, the less they're looking at him. Bellamy is the key to everything, Octavia. If he dies, we die."

[intelligentdumbass]

Can't I Get a Break? (part 1)

(Again, beware of typos. I have no idea how this turned into what it is now, but it is what it is.)

Hermes pushed the door open and nearly tripped on one of goldie’s many stray brushes. The floor was also littered with paintings and marble statues of varying shapes and sizes scattered all over.

“Apollo?”

“You need something Herms?”

The blonde was in the corner, sitting down on a cushion, his eyes still focused on the canvas on his lap even when his brother was already standing over him.

“Dude, what’re you doing here? The wedding is about to start!”

“Eh? I thought it wasn’t until two months from now?”

Hermes stared, and wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Look, I don’t know what day you think it is, but I wasn’t lying when I said that the wedding is about to start.”

Apollo frowned, but then laughed when his instincts told him Hermes was telling the truth.

“Ah, shit. The girls are probably wondering where I am-” He immediately stood up and ran off into another room. “You can go on ahead Herm! I swear I’ll catch up.”

When the god took a glance at the painting he left on the cushion, he suddenly understood. It was a work in progress of Asclepius’ worktable covered in ashes.

---------------------------------

Olympus’ garden was breath-taking; bioluminescent flowers blooming under the moonlight. The gods were having the time of their lives, drunkenly singing under the serene night sky.

Hermes couldn’t help but subtly gaze back at Apollo every now and then. Despite all the fun the sun god was having dancing with the muses, their conversation in the studio made him felt like something was off.

Then someone caught him off guard by wrapping an arm around his shoulder, and he instantly knew who it was the second he smelled the wine in his breath.

“Jealous?~” Dionysus wiggled his eyebrows.

Hermes raised an eyebrow. “Jealous of what?”

Dionysus motions to the muses; it was at that moment that Calliope had her arms wrapped around Apollo’s neck as the god gave her a small kiss. Hermes rolled his eyes, but oh little did he know, he was faintly blushing.

The younger brother sighed.

“Look man, if you’re going to keep this up, then you‘re absolutely hopeless. I mean, at this point literally everyone except the distracted dumbass you haven’t confessed to knows that you want a piece of that-”

“Hahahaha, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, have you seen Eris? I heard she wasn’t invited-”

“Hey! Don’t change the subject.” Dionysus glanced back and frowned. “Huh, where’d he go?”

Hermes followed his gaze and sure enough, Apollo was nowhere to be seen; just the muses chatting amongst themselves, along with a few other immortals. The wine god scanned the rest of the guests at the party, and gave his friend a confused look, who just shrugged in response. Then before he knew it, Hermes was being dragged by the arm over to the group of gossiping sisters.

Urania saw them first and waved, while Thalia gave the messenger a knowing grin.

“You looking for Apollo?”

He internally cursed. His brother was right, everyone did know. Before he could say a word, his companion answered for him.

“Yeah. Wasn’t he with you guys just a minute ago?”

Melpomene and Polyhymnia gave each other a look, before turning to Calliope. She sighed.

“He said something about taking a break.”

“Apollo? A break?” Dionysus looked up, at the moon. “But it hasn’t even reached midnight yet.”

The goddess’ smile became just a tiny bit strained. “I know.”

Hermes frowned. “Did you manage to catch where he ran off to?”

---------------------------------

The garden was huge; its depths filled with paths most don’t even know of. Luckily Hermes knew his way around it like the back of his head. After all, he’s got good experience sneaking inside the garden from one of its many secret entrances.

The other deities’ slurred laughter were getting more and more muffled, until it was replaced by the crickets and the foliage crunching under his steps. Then out of nowhere came the familiar sounds of a certain lyre. His brisk walk slowed into a halt. He found the god of music sitting down on top of a small hill, back resting against the trunk of an old oak. He had a feeling he would’ve found him here. This spot was one of their favorites, because it also happened to be right in front of a giant crevice that overlooked a big chunk of the earth. The view was spectacular.

Apollo didn’t notice Hermes’ presence until he had already sat down next to him, which made him flinch.

“H-” “Hermes!” He glared.

“What?”

“You could’ve at least said something! Gods, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

The messenger resisted the urge to laugh and just innocently grinned, while his friend sighed. His gaze then went to the turtle lyre in the musician’s hands.

“I still can’t believe you kept that. I mean, it’s not just that you kept it. It’s the fact that I always see you actually use it.”

Apollo smiled, with a look in his eyes that basically said, ‘Why wouldn’t I?’

“It’s a very good instrument, even if it was just made by some annoying toddler. Besides, the other one gives me bad memories.” He pauses for a moment. “What’re you doing here? You couldn’t find someone to flirt with?”

“I was looking for you.”

“Did someone need me?”

“Nah, if that were the case then I would’ve already told you. I was just… concerned?”

The blonde seemed confused; now Hermes was the one who sighed.

“Did you really spend two months just, holed up in that room?”

“Maybe, what of it?” The lyre went silent.

Hermes frowned, but after a few moments of thought decided to stand up.

“Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, but considering what happened, you probably just wanted some alone time-”

“Nono, it’s fine.” His voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear it. “Please don’t leave.”

And so the god sat back down, this time inching a little closer so that their sides were touching. Apollo saw him glance at the lyre again.

“You want to play something? Go on ahead.” He hands it over. “I suddenly don’t.”

For a few minutes that’s all it was, Hermes strumming on his lyre while the crickets sung; Apollo staring into the distance.

“Wait.” For a brief moment, Apollo’s eyes lit up like a pair of miniature suns.

“Hm?” Hermes paused.

“Nonono, keep on playing. It was just… isn’t that the song you played to me? When you tried to convince me that it was totally worth trading half of my cows for?”

“Y-” “Yeah.” He was surprised. ‘How do you still remember that?’

Hermes continued to strum, but now his cheeks were starting to burn up. It doesn’t look like Apollo noticed though.

“Am I unreasonable, Hermes?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m one of father’s older kids, hell, his literal oldest son. You’d think I’d get used to this now.” He picks up a handful of dirt and just lets the soil fall through his fingers.

“Well, it… wasn’t really a natural death now, was it? Dude, if that happened to my kid I’d be pissed at dad too even if he had a reason for it.”

“I don’t know I’m just… I’m so tired of this.” At first it was a hand on his shoulder, but he quickly ended up hugging him; pulling him even closer and wrapping his arms around the messenger’s waist. “I’m so fucking sick of this shit.”

Despite how much that had startled him and the fact that he was internally screaming right now, Hermes still managed a smile. At this point, the blonde had his face buried into his shoulder. The younger god stopped strumming on the lyre and gave his friend a gentle pat on the back.

“I know that I shouldn’t be making a big deal out of this but-” “but I can’t not!” His rants were loud murmurs; like yelling but in soft whispers with the occasional muffled sniffs and whimpers. “I can’t stop thinking about things like this. I don’t know why. Is there something wrong with me? I know everything dies and that what Asclepius did was a crime against the fates, why can’t my brain just shut up about it!”

“Hey, Hey look at me.”

After half a minute of silence, Apollo reluctantly looked up.

“Don’t beat yourself up like that.” Hermes putted the lyre aside and wiped away some of the tears trailing down his cheeks. “You’re not unreasonable. I mean, have you seen the shit the rest of this fucked up family tree of ours has been up to? I’d argue you’re actually one of the most reasonable.”

“Oh, of course you’d think that-”

“Shhhh” He cut him off by giving him a small kiss on the forehead.

Apollo faintly blushed and then started staring off into oblivion again; resting his head on Hermes’ shoulder.

“I guess at least…” He murmured. “At least you guys aren’t going to suddenly die on me.”

“I don’t know about that. I can’t exactly guarantee that I won’t do a very stupid prank that might get me kicked into Tartarus.”

“Tch. Well, there might be a chance that I would’ve been stupid enough to do it with you, so at least with that we’ll both get chucked down into the abyss. Hey who knows, Dio might join us too.”

Hermes laughed, and even the blonde himself couldn’t help but crack a smile.

---------------------------------

“Well” Apollo sighed. “Thanks for putting up with that.”

“Of course.” He takes a quick look at the moon. “Maybe we should go back now. Someone might get worried.”

“I guess.” For a moment there, the god looked like he really didn’t want to leave.

“I mean, I don’t mind spending a few more minutes here if you want to-”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right; we really should be going back now.”

Apollo stood up first, and picked up the lyre; the messenger standing up not long after. The two deities had started to walk back when the younger god suddenly stopped.

���Wait.”

“Hm?” Apollo turned around and frowned. “Something wrong?”

“I… I need to tell you something.” He suddenly felt a little nervous, and couldn’t help but stare a little; maybe even briefly glancing at his lips.

Hermes took a step closer.

“I-” “ACH!-”

But before he could do or say anything else, he felt something hard smack him right in the face. He probably would’ve fallen back onto the ground if Apollo hadn’t caught him.

“Are you alright?”

“What…” Hermes rubbed his nose. “What the FUCK was that?!”

Then there was a distant cackle, and it sounded oddly familiar; almost like it came from a certain goddess of chaos.

Out of the corner of his eye, Apollo saw a speck of yellow on the ground. It was an apple made out of solid gold, and there was an inscription scribbled onto it, but that wasn’t why he was staring.

Once his brother had fully recovered from the shock, he let go, for him to stand on his own. The fruit glimmered and sparkled under the ambient moonlight, enticing the immortal to come closer. He crouched down and picked it up. It glowed against his hand, and it flashed against his eyes.

First he felt the heat, like the sun’s solar flares were gently flicking and liking his skin. Then he smelled the stench of thick, red, mortal blood. His limbs were heavy and his stomach tied itself into a knot; his head filled with the slow rhythmic beat of drums, except it wasn’t drums. He wasn’t in the garden anymore; he was in a temple, his temple. He knew because of the statues, but they weren’t the only company he had in this large, hollow room.

There was a stranger in front of him; their steps the source of those loud, steady thumps as they gradually got closer, and closer…

He was a god, he knew he could easily kill them, but instead he found himself backed up against a wall. Then they grabbed him by the throat, and drew their sword. In the heat of the moment, he somehow managed to catch a glimpse his reflection in the glint of their blade.

What he saw wasn’t his face.

But the face had his eyes.

Apollo instinctively dropped the apple and cursed fruit quickly fell back onto the ground. His face was drenched in sweat; his fingers twitching; breath hitching and heaving.

“Apollo? Goldie?!” Hermes rushed towards the blonde and cupped both of his hands. “Hey buddy, what’s wrong?”

The god inhaled, and exhaled; closing his eyes. He squeezed both of the messenger’s hands and forced himself to calm down. When he started coming back to his senses, he glanced around, but the apple was already gone.

“Hermes, where did that cursed piece of golden shit go?!”

Hermes blinked, surprised. “I… don’t know?”

But what he did saw, was a few black feathers as dark as the sky above them. They were scattered along the path that led back to the main event.

“…Hermes I need that fucking apple.”

“Huh? What? Why-” “Hey, HEY! APOLLO WAIT!!”

Apollo had started to run back towards the wedding, and Hermes was right behind him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

Fun facts about Hestia

It’s been a year since I officially started posting about my girl and established her story, so I thought I’d share some fun little facts about when I started creating her!

- She originally started off as a human named Evelyn.

- I started creating her as a Hogwarts/Cats crossover, which was incidentally the first Cats story I started writing back in June of 2019.

- She was originally supposed to be Tugger and Mistoffelees’ human owner, then I started developing a relationship between them that I thought would reflect better as a parent/child relationship, so I started making her into a Jellicle OC.

- Pouncival was originally her love interest.

- The ghost siblings and Serafina were never supposed to be a major aspect or major characters, and now they’ve become some of my favorite characters that I’ve ever created!

- Hestia originally didn’t have much magic, maybe some sparkles and a bit of lightning now and then.

And a few facts about things that happened after I created her:

- Her pocket watch that’s referenced a bunch of times is something Tumblebrutus gave to her in an RP between myself and @queen-with-the-quill that just happened to stick. 

- She also has a bracelet that Tumblebrutus also gave her that Mistoffelees enchanted so that they can feel each other’s emotions.

- The kittens that she and Tumblebrutus eventually have are named Anthea and Charon.

- Charon is the oldest, and has more of his mother’s shy temperament, but adores spending time with his Papa Misto and Auntie Sek, and he learns to channel his magic through dance.

- Anthea is the baby, and is definitely the energetic ball of fluff, taking after her dad and Uncle Pounce, but loves being with her Grandpa Tugs and Aunt Jojo, and channels her magic through her voice.

- Both have their mother’s magic, but different versions of it; Anthea has the “life” version of it, being able to manipulate plants, and her magic is mainly fueled by her emotions. Charon’s magic has more to do with energies and auras, being able to see the auras of all beings around him, including the dead, why Hestia chose to name him after Hades’ ferryman.

(yes, Hestia inherited her mother, her aunt’s, and her fathers’ need to name their children after Greek gods and goddesses. do not judge her.)

so yeah! there are some facts about Hestia from when I first started creating her!

And here’s some mushy stuff because I’m feeling mushy and happy today:

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I started posting about her. She’s grown so much, and yeah, I know I’m being sappy, but I’m truly so thankful to all of you for being so welcoming to her, and for loving her as much as I love her. 

@queen-with-the-quill thank you for not only giving me the confidence to share Hestia with the Cats fandom, but for also giving Hestia the absolute greatest friend in the entire world and for giving her the best adopted sister ever (and, even though neither of us knew it at the time, for giving me one of my best and closest friends!!)

And I have to give a special thank you to everyone who’s made OCs who are also Tuggoffelees kids, and who have included her as their OCs’ sister, ESPECIALLY (Chaos) Calliope, Fabre, Ziggy, Sekhmet, Ares, and Persephone, who are the absolute BEST siblings that Hestia could ever have <3

And, of course, to the OCs who have had Hestia as a friend: Dorsey, Traven, (and Dejinti! because we love the Macavity Kids Club!), (Story) Calliope, Browrey, Mercury, Zararyia, and so many other wonderful OCs.

I can’t wait to make more content about Hestia!!

[momestuck]

Epilogues: Candy, chapters 1-5

This is gonna get long.

The Candy route is, in effect, the route where John refuses to go back to finish off Lord English, but remains on Earth C. Instead, the story begins by picking up another long neglected thread: Gamzee. Then it continues to various other places.

Contains: a rough recap of Gamzee’s story, a longwinded attempt to be evenhanded and not callous about the Gamzee Discourse, because it’s relevant again... and then I read the next three chapters, which visit some of the other characters, setting up the board for the new story (because let’s be real, this is a whole new story of its own at this point!)

a quick recap

It’s been three years since the comic ended so I’m gonna recap what I remember about Gamzee’s story. He was sent on a murderous rampage in the ‘murderstuck’ arc - there’s some debate if he was acting according to his own will, or that of Lord English’s agents, there, but either way he killed a large number of the ‘beta trolls’. He was ultimately stopped by Karkat, who deployed the ‘shoosh pap’ of establishing moirallegiance. During the three year meteor voyage, he entered into some kind of very harmful kismesis relationship with Terezi, but got very little screen time. And uh... then I get confused.

In the “game over” arc, he is mind controlled - I recall by Aranea - and used to bring about the deaths of most of the cast. This, of course, was retconned. Also I think I skipped over a bit.

And, in some capacity, he was present when Caliborn won the contest for dominance with Calliope. He assisted the young Caliborn’s villainous plan, and for his trouble got repeatedly shot to pieces, which he took silently.

And at some point he got locked in a fridge by the rest of the cast. We briefly see him get knocked about in there during ‘Collide’, and then he makes no further appearance.

Let’s go on the Homestuck wiki and see what I missed...

while under the sway of Lord English (murderstuck arc), he caused some of the kids to receive Lil Cal and a harlequin doll, which is what made their session ‘terminal’

he intervened in the alpha session, and was responsible for the prototypings of various dead trolls into combined forms

this:

The fridge remained on LOTAK until Lord Jack was decapitated which resulted in a black hole, somehow taking Gamzee, Crowbar's crowbar and Yaldabaoth to future Earth.

so i guess i missed that in all the chaos of Collide, but that explains how he ended up in Caliborn’s world.

also crucially, half of Gamzee is absorbed into Lil Cal along with Caliborn and Arquiussprite, which creates Lord English, the series villain.

so anyway...

The initial premise of this story is: John decides to remain in the C universe and enjoy his life instead of living in an undecisive fugue, rather than go out to fight Lord English and wrap up that side of the plot. Calliope makes a request of him: he should use his retcon powers to pull Gamzee out of the plot, someone ‘only he can save’.

The second chapter is basically a very sarcastic discourse post in Gamzee’s voice. Shortly after being rescued, Gamzee goes onto a long speech about how he’s prepared to redeem himself, and the ‘mitigating factors’ that make him worthy of redemption: (an ‘abusive childhood’ at the hands of his goat dad, and his socialisation). I’ll excerpt a bit to give you the general flavour, with the typing quirk removed for readability:

gamzee: i been all like. abused and stuff, homies.

gamzee: as a child, i got motherfuckin neglected on by a stern old fatherly goat.

gamzee: i was a disappointment on him, and can’t says i blame him for abandoning the shit out of his useless kid.

gamzee: i woulda motherfuckin done the same shit at me if i was a big cruel goat.

gamzee: so that explains like, pretty sure most of my crimes in a way that makes a motherfucker wanna take his forgiveness out for a fucking spin.

gamzee: there’s other reasons to consider, like...

gamzee: shit that makes this redemption arc fuckin tight like an uncracked elixir.

gamzee: like, hows my purple blood meant i got the culture pressures put on me to be a salty damn jester for life.

gamzee: what about that hand the messiahs dealt me, my bitches.

gamzee: a motherfucker’s gonna envy that like a wicked cod rash.

gamzee: so how can i full and truly fuckin get blamed on for, when it comes to a little bit of subjugglation i got culturally hornswoggled up to doing, and also tragically goat abused which needs to make you shed a tear for this motherfucker, lest you wanna be as atrocious as me.

This is reminiscent of V’s episodes in Friendsim, insofar as - we’re clearly not intended to buy it, but it’s directly mocking lines of argument in the fandom, about whether it’s ok to be a fan of Gamzee (because fandom is all about casting moral judgement on finding that you relate to fictional characters’ narratives in the wrong way, justifying your own attachments to characters and works as progressive, etc...).

By putting these arguments in a very explicit and ridiculous form (having Gamzee speak on whether he personally deserves a ‘redemption arc’), and then having the narrator and also popular characters such as Terezi dismiss them, V’s stance is fairly clear - at least these particular readings of Gamzee are to be dismissed. Terezi comments:

JOHN: apparently we’re going to let him have a “redemption arc”?

TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4

JOHN: yeah, it’s...

JOHN: well, what is there to even say?

JOHN: it’s literally the dumbest fucking idea i’ve ever heard, but what can you do.

TEREZI: SHOV3 H1M B4CK 1N TH4T FR1DG3 4ND THROW 1T 1N TH3 OC34N, 1S WH4T

There’s two ways the story can go from here. One might be that this is the last we’re going to hear about Gamzee, it’s just a quick fuck you to one particular set of readings of Homestuck, and then on to whatever V considers more important. Another is that, a more subtle story is about to be told than the deliberately absurd framing here.

I should state my own stance, since it’s probably going to be relevant. I had a friend who cared a great deal about Gamzee, in part because he was essentially a chew toy in the latter part of the comic, who could be treated violently without consequence, which - as far as I understand their feelings - my friend found meaningful in relation to their own experiences of abuse.

I recall thinking there was some credence to ‘mind control’ interpretations, which posit that the difference between Gamzee’s chill affect early on and his ludicrously violent behaviour later was the control of Doc Scratch and other agents of Lord English; Gamzee in this reading is aware, and horrified (as hinted at by a brief window where Aranea’s mind control is released during the Game Over arc and he is ‘himself’ again, and cries and begs for mercy, before once again becoming extremely violent). Whether this is the case during the ‘fridge’ section is not clear. This goes some way to explaining why Gamzee is indestructible, and mutely devoted to assisting Caliborn when Caliborn treats him with nothing but violence.

In this reading, Gamzee is a tragic character to the point of absurdity. He is forced to witness another person committing horrific actions with his body, and then abandoned by those who’d care for him because they do not recognise the mind control. His only escape from one mind controller is another one.

However, that’s just a reading. For fans who identify strongly with Terezi, Gamzee is often interpreted as her abuser due to the effect his relationship is shown to have during the asteroid voyage (pre-Game Over). To these readers, people - such as my friend - who identify with Gamzee are engaging in apologetics for abuse.

Because this is so fraught, I am not going to make any claim that a particular reading of Gamzee is ‘unambiguously true’. I think a third interpretation is the ‘shitty writing’ one, that Hussie basically intended Gamzee as a joke character, not one with interiority. He’s a scary clown! Perhaps he didn’t realise how strongly this character, who from the start was presented as someone to laugh at, would resonate with the readers.

I hope that this discussion gives some sense of the different possible nuances of Gamzee, and I am hoping that this epilogue will not simply be a polemic for one particular reading.

now, chapter 3+

I read the first two chapters right after I heard about the upd8. From now on, this will be a true ‘liveread’, i.e. written alongside my first readthrough of the story.

At this point we switch viewpoint character to Dirk! This is a very short chapter: Dirk cancels ‘everything’ - all his ongoing plans - and does not explain why to Jane, or Jake. Whatever the reason is, it’s very bad news and has a short time limit.

Apparently John’s decision to say has had some kind of metaphysical effect, which causes Rose’s mysterious malady - and her various anxieties concerning ‘canon’ - to dissipate.

So she gets to spend some time with Kanaya. This is nice - we barely got to see Rose and Kanaya together as a couple in canon. It’s a sweet conversation... and makes me worry about what’s going to happen in the ‘Meat’ route.

There’s a little clarifying on Jade, Dave and Karkat’s relationship now...

JADE: i never thought id be thinking of you as my weird nerd friend by the time we were in our twenties

It’s a weird, intimate, and uncomfortably close to sexual thing to be doing in front of other people. Dave and Karkat share a vaguely mortified look. Jade sort of lives here, but she doesn’t that sort of live here.

The expression is so warm and blatant that it can’t help but draw Jade’s attention. She frowns and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose, making some quick calculations in her head. They’re so obvious, she thinks, and yet here they are. Virginal losers who are performative about sitting exactly a foot apart whenever they’re in public. It’s so pathetic it makes her want to howl at the moon in sorrow. 

so i guess we’re going to have a jade working very hard on getting dave and karkat together type arc

well i guess we are but oof, jade what the hell... jade decides to like, go in with all the subtlety of a train, aggressively flirt with karkat, up to the point of like, putting her fingers in his mouth... which to him is just like, a straight up assault. but it’s them who are ‘hopeless’, not her...

dave very awkwardly changes the subject to talk about the possible Jane presidency. apparently, Jane is very xenophobic towards trolls (which didn’t seem immediately apparent from the comic but I might have forgotten tbh). Karkat speaks of ‘the potential genocide of my people’

DAVE: but i dont think shed go so far as to commit genocide

DAVE: thats really exaggerating her faults

DAVE: like wed have to get pretty far away from the people we were when we started all this for that to be a viable outcome

...phrasing it like that... makes me rather apprehensive!

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p11 reaction

Is the resolution of the Masterpiece really going to fall in between pages about Jane & Jake's fake date?

Maybe not. Maybe we'll see something from John's perspective first, inside the house juju. Giving himself the retcon powers. Coming to terms about some things. But I suspect he won't be able to contact anyone. At least, it would surprise (and entice!) me if someone contacted him while he's hidden away so remotely in there... Speaking of contact, how did John intend to have read anything inside the juju without his glasses or contacts? You can only spend so much time squinting.

I also wonder what they'll do when they're let out. I mean, they haven't become any better at fighting, and LE has. John won't zap his friends, Vriska and Davepetasprite^2 away to confer in a more secure location, right? Assuming he still has his retcon powers by the end of his stay in the house juju.

---

"That’s that, you think. Your glasses are broken forever, and you totally fucked up and underestimated young Lord English. Rose should have known better than to trust this to you alone." Well, I guess having a mental breakdown is one way to pass the time. I'd rather he had some sort of breakthrough instead, though. As for the glasses... Maybe a non-final death will restore them? Or by ascending to his Ultimate Self god tier. Whatever that'd do to his personality...

"Rose, Rose... your smart, amazing friend Rose, you can almost hear her voice now.

> Listen closer, jackass." ... Ah, so Reload Rose and the others can still talk. Their jails neighbour each other after all - they represent the four blocks of the house - but I didn't think it'd be enough for them to confer. Though, I rather think they're limited in what they can do in here, right? Unless... Unless by being in the house juju, they can influence some things inside the plot, still put some things in place so some time loops are fulfilled and stuff is prepared for bringing down LE!

Pretty sure they're barred, narratively, from performing a jail break, though. :P

Ya know, I've talked about the sentiments behind the narrative prompts before, and I just now realized that the kind of intruisive, inflammable language they use are a throwback to Homestuck's narration, since now that we have this POV-type story, the language there in is more shaped towards the person in question.

"You’ve only realized right now that your cell has walls, because it’s awfully bright in here. It’s so white that nothing in the cell is casting a shadow. Looking around, you realize there is no apparent source to all this bright light, making it hard to tell where the floor ends and the walls begin." Oh, I figured it was dark for him, but yeah, the house is white. Maybe the jail cell looks to each as what their idea of being imprisoned in a house-shaped object should be like, and proportions of the space go to match that? Hence why John can't yet tell the floor from the walls, he's got only an inkling of an idea. :P

"JOHN: yeah, i’m here. ROSE: Oh, thank goodness. Everyone’s accounted for then." Hah, John spaced out while the others reconnected. Nice. I'm interested to see what ideas Rose will bring to the table.

So it all comes back to four kids, standing idly in separate rooms, huh. :P

"Are you okay? JOHN: what? ROSE: Are you OKAY?" Okay, either the walls muffle the sound of John is like "this situation does not warrant the use of the word 'okay', rose. 'okay' is definitely not how i would describe us being right now."

"JOHN: i think so. i can barely hear you though.

You can hear a thud from Rose’s corner, like someone slumping against the wall in relief. Well, that’s what you’re doing at least." That's pretty much all she needed to hear right now.

"DAVE: this is kinda dorky to say out loud but i dont DAVE: feel... time" ... They're cut off from all their aspects now, are they? That'd just make them ordinary people. :/ Or maybe it's in reference to time outside of the juju passing way faster, relatively.

"DAVE: thats not just me right you guys feel it too DAVE: or dont JADE: yeah JADE: i mean theres obviously space inside this box but i cant do ANYTHING JADE: its like im blind" ... Okay, so I'm left to wonder. Would the egg sword and Jade's First Guardian powers still be usable? I'm assuming Dave had it out, so even if their sylladexes are inaccessible they might be able to do something.

"The noise outside the juju grows. Something sharp and metallic splinters above and rains down on the top of the chest." That isn't something to do with the pirate party finding the chest in the dreambubbles... So then, what? Did the B2 kids do something with the chest after exiling (excorcising? ... INcorcising?) Caliborn into Lil Cal?

Blaperile has a good point. Do all the soul splices inside Lil Cal experience this in the same way? ... Do all the soul splices in LORD ENGLISH experience this in the same way?? In the sense that the mobster is just a prison they can't escape or influence?

"ROSE: What did my future self say it was we had to do? JOHN: erm... she never rea—" Oh this is going to be so embarrassing.

"The metallic noises rain down harder, drowning out Rose’s attempt at being loud." ... It's that the noises are metallic, otherwise I was almost beginning to think it was more like the white noise. And that would have made me think of the Scratch. That would sure be something though, if the B2 kids initiated a Scratch of Caliborn's session. Actually, what if that was how Alternate Calliope's timeline came to be...

"JOHN: NOW I CAN’T HEAR YOU! JADE: TRY USING LESS WORDS

The length of the silence coming from Rose’s corner communicates just how difficult a task that is for her." Pfffffffff. Incoming character development for Rose: being concise.

"JADE: WHAT????? JOHN: I KNOW IT’S ALL A BIT ABSTRACT, BUT... JADE: NO, I JUST CAN’T HEAR YOU! DAVE: JOHN YOU SUCK AT YELLING JOHN: UGH!" Pfffff, I thought John would be better at yelling coherently, being Karkat's counterpole. ... Blaperile points out the similarity with Karkat sucking at whispering. XD

"Now you understand defeating young Lord English was never supposed to happen. Not the way Adult Rose was implying it would. You surmise the other four teens remaining outside the juju were the ones meant to be tasked with his defeat." It just sucks that John has to come to these admittedly wrong decisions by himself and couldn't have been given more information to work with.

"And judging from the cacophony still emanating from beyond the walls of this house and its confining chest, they are taking the task seriously." Okay, so the B2 kids' fight is still going on. Still unsure what the metal sounds could be about though. Aside from Dirk hacking at the chest with his unbreakable katana.

"But what does this mean for the four of you?" John, don't lose hope, you said it yourself, you'll be unloaded... some time.

"You try to picture what’s going on in the battle outside, but it’s not easy.

> Use your imagination." Of course, the house juju's powers run on imagination! :P No, wait, he's just going to give us his idea of the proceedings of the rest of the Masterpiece. Sadly, he doesn't have any clay at hand. :P

"The coolness of the action in your mind’s eye is belied by the actual sound effects booming all around you, which you can only describe as vaguely stupid." Welp, guess the bar of wedgies is still being cleared only marginally.

"There’s a lot of hysterical screaming, which, if you’re not mistaken, is coming exclusively from the male combatants. ... Well, Dirk IS living and breathing anime. :P

"Almost as if an outrageous bubble of pure Hope were enveloping the stage, is how you would describe it if you didn’t mind sounding ridiculous." Hah, John still doesn't believe in the application of Hope.

"Then you hear... it can’t be. Horses?? No, not simple horses of flesh and bone. These horses are metal, if we’re to believe they’re horses at all." Oh! Right, Arquiusprite summoned those Metalhoofs. Well, that's what I picture they were, Caliborn represented them with metal horse figures... But perhaps he even created robo-centaur butlers and the like. *shivers*

"You figure no one will ever truly know what’s happening out there. You doubt anyone would even be able to handle how incredible the raw, unfiltered account of this teen brawl actually was, so it’s probably for the best." Welp, and we were doing so well just now. :P Eh, it seems the battle unfolded pretty much exactly as foretold, only with some of the more stupid details removed, curtousy of Caliborn's impatience with stupidity. Which in this case might not have been entirely bad. :P

"you overhear Dave from one of the rooms below you, raising his voice to speak to either you or someone else." Right, they are not all on the same level, since it's a house-shaped prison. Uh, but wasn't Dave supposed to be in the part of the house with the extra window? It's been too long, I probably misremember. Oh, wait, yeah, they went through the fourth wall via one of the bottom panes, and it stood for Dave. Never mind.

"Once more you ruefully reflect on these teen versions of your friends, and all the questions they must have for you. For each other. What would you even say to them?" The responsibilities of an adult, John never expected they'd be this hard. He must be growing more appreciative of what his Dad went through with him without even knowing it.

"You’re not even sure you could handle it, if you were Teen John. You’d have too many follow-up questions, which Adult John is in no way prepared to answer." Still, I wouldn't mind a little one-on-one between Johns. A John-on-John, I suppose. In a serious way, nothing from the animes.

"Would you tell them about Terezi..." Oooh, does he suddenly get an idea, thinking of Terezi? Can't say I think they can do anything to contact her from inside here. Hmm, but earlier, Blaperile thought about what the B2 kids could do with the juju chest, whether they might try to get the others out. That's assuming Caliborn didn't captchalogue the thing, though. Still, it would be something if they could defy what's been foretold and unload the house early, maybe load it with a real surprise for LE.

"For some reason her name feels like nails in your heart. Makes sense, you guess, cause there’s a lot of sharp letters in it. She had sharp teeth too, and sharp elbows. Sharp words." Ahhhh, so we get to see what black romance feels like to John. Looking pretty sharp, apparently. Still, her sharp intellect could've come in handy here. It's a good thing chances are good they'll meet again, I'm sure post-victory Terezi has an important role to play yet.

"Terezi Pyrope was a sharp girl, and maybe what these sharp feelings are trying to tell you is you miss her more than you realized." Well, John has already acknowledged his feelings about Roxy, guess it's time for the other side of the two-headed coin now.

"She wouldn’t have let you neglect relationships with certain friends for so long that you missed whole chapters of their lives. She wouldn’t have put up with you moping around with the salamanders for so long. She would have kicked your ass for being such a loser about everything. She would have poked you in the forehead and called you insufferably lame and told you to pick up the damn phone. You would have called her a weirdo and pretended you hated it, and maybe you would even have believed you hated it. But now, sitting here in this little white cubicle, contemplating your regrets, you don’t think you’d have hated it much at all.

Would you tell the teens that?" Oooh. Very good point, actually. Even if John really only knows that version of Terezi from talking to her on two separate days separate by three years, she had a real impact on him. Granted, they also kept contact on WhatsApp as well in Universe C, but during the session was when their interactions bloomed. It'd probably be a stretch for Meat to end with John retconning the post-victory timeline to include Terezi on Earth, with him, right? After they defeat Lord English first, of course. Oh, right, she was there for two years before leaving... somehow. I kind of forgot. Still, five years would've made a difference in where John ended up by the start of the epilogues.

"JOHN: am i... depressed??" ... Well. Well, as far as growing self-awareness goes, this might be a very big development! Yes, it does seem that John has become listless on Earth C. Mostly it seemed to have to do with the absence of his Dad. But maybe he'll have other ideas about that, like his misfortune in matters romantic.

"as it turns out, you are really fucking depressed. You’re just a giant, wet meat sack of self-involved misery, and all that big, wet, meaty ooze drips out your mouth every time you open it. All the time and space in the world isn’t making it better. It’s something you should have been doing for yourself, instead of waiting around for things to get better." Wow, John. I suppose things will get a little harder for him, now that he's realized this about himself, but I hope he'll find a way soon out of this mess. And so, that's what he's been doing on Earth C, just waiting for things to get better. And no-one picked up on it, not even the other people close to him that bordered on depression before? Like Jade? He really alienated himself...

"Well, screw waiting! It’s boring as hell! You are JOHN EGBERT, after all, immortal CREATOR OF WORLDS, the one and only man ever to completely transcend the partitions of CANON ITSELF. You’ve got these powers, remember?" Well THAT's a sudden surge of RESOLVE if I've ever seen one!

"You hold up your hands and form a rectangle with your fingers and reach outside yourself, outside canon, to the place your retcon powers come from. You focus. You strain. You contemplate with all your might a place you can zap to, any place but here." There's no place like home, there's no place like home! :p Kind of wondering if he'll succeed though. He might be cut off from his powers. But if not, canon is his oyster.

"You wait. And wait. And wait and...

Nothing happens.

You slump back down against the wall" Welp! He tried.

"JOHN: THE ONLY WAY OUT OF HERE... JOHN: IS FOR US TO WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO LET US OUT. JOHN: SORRY GUYS. ROSE: OH." Anyone up for a game of "I see I see what you can't see"?

"JOHN: ALSO... JOHN: I THINK I MIGHT HAVE DEPRESSION?" Well, at least they won't have a lack of stuff to be talking, sorry, yelling about. Rose might be partially delighted to pick at the brains of an adult John, in fact.

[post-itpenny]

Gloaming

Tagging @grotesquegabby because I’m borrowing everyone.

Gloaming: defined as twilight and dusk; the day’s end, the glittery, transient echo when time and nature meet.

This takes place just before your clown’s drama. I apologize for how long this is but I think it’s time we learn just why Vespers family is filled with so much drama…. It’s all Magpie’s fault.

Atlas was taken to Aunt Magpie’s home for the first time.He had never really met her except once or twice, his birthday party being the first time he could remember having an actual conversation with her. He thought she seemed rather pale (even for someone with a white clown-face) but coming to her home and seeing how dark it was he now saw her as more of a cave creature.The kind that never see the light of day and have no color. With all the electric lights glittering in the darkness creating the sense of twilight, but much heavier. But her home itself was nice (though when he asked to go outside he was told that there wasn’t one, why not?) and the library was bigger than his parents entire home! She even let him barrow as many books as he could carry. He liked her and couldn’t understand why Vespers was the only person in his entire family that had anything to do with her. He had asked his mother once and she changed the subject. His aunt outright wouldn’t answer and when he asked Uncle Peregrine he got angry.Cousin Juno said to just leave her.

What did that mean?But Vespers was having friends over for a movie night and Atlas knew… he just knew the best way to learn anything was to listen to the adults talk when they thought you weren’t there. He was the only kid so when Atlas said he would rather go to his room to read then watch the movie no one questioned him. He walked upstairs, being sure to close his door loudly, then after a minute quietly crept back down. Crawling to the edge of the stairway where no one could see him. The dim light coming only from the tv in the next room, it felt artificial and not nearly like the heavy darkness of Aunt Magpie’s home. Atlas waited and sure enough someone paused the TV.“So… how did it go?” Cosmos asked.Atlas could hear a sigh and then Vespers speaking, “great actually. It’s just…. She was so damn happy to see him and I could tell she was nervous. She wanted Atlas to like her so badly.”“So has she never really spent time with him before?” Came Lennie’s voice. “I know she said she didn’t have the best relationship with her brother but isn’t that your dad?”Vespers gave a sharp laugh, “that’s one way to describe it. Dad wants nothing to do with her. Wish I had nothing to do with her. He’s gonna flip when he find out we took Atlas to meet her but I don’t really care. I talked it over with Aunt Vega and Uncle Joseph and they were ok with it.”“Maggie what do they think about you spending time with her?” Came Jelly’s voice. There was a long pause before Maggie spoke. “They……. Um…… Vespers…..the Blackwoods don’t…. Like me…”Atlas nodded to himself, he already knew this just from how Juno described Maggie as being something awful… but when he met Maggie he couldn’t understand why since none of it seemed true…Atlas heard Vespers sigh in frustration, “It’s not your fault Maggie….”“Is it Magpie’s?” Billy asked.There was another moment of silence.It was Cosmos that broke it first. “Hey… I mean its your family business but its kinda also my business now. We can talk about it in private if you-”“No,” Vespers cut him off. “I don’t care anymore. Half of you have met Magpie and know shes nice. She’s a good person I swear it’s just…. She made a mistake.” Vespers paused again, getting up. Atlas could hear as he began to pace the room.

“So Aunt Magpie is my dad’s little sister and she was always…. Gifted. Like, that’s the only word for it. I remember one time when I was little lighting hit the west tower of our home so hard it blew half the thing off. She fixed it was a snap of her fingers. A snap! Thing was good as knew.”“Ah, so she’s telekinetic?” Jelly asked.“No,” Vespers answered, “It’s not just that it’s everything. She used to make book illustrations come off the pages and act out the story for me. Who do you think I get all my fabric from? How is it that Maggie’s tent is bigger on the inside? That’s all Aunt Magpie!” “She can just… Make things happen.” Maggie added, “there no other way to explain it she can just… make reality do what she wants.”“She’s… she’s that powerful?” Pepper asked.“Yeah, I mean she can’t control people thats the limit but yeah that’s Magpie.” Vespers answered. He paused at the corner near where Atlas was hiding, the little deer freezing in freight, but only for a moment as Vespers continued his pacing. “My grandparents and dad always kept a tight leash on her, I think to be honest they were afraid that she might lose control and I never noticed when I was little but I know that bothered her… but she was so damn loyal to our family and she helped raise Juno and I…”“What happened,” Cosmos asked.“…. So in our house was My family but sometimes we had guests. My dad’s best friend practically lived with us. We called him Uncle Casper, he was cool… Um, but anyways another friend of my dad’s stayed for a few weeks and everyone knew right away that Aunt Magpie was head over heels for him…. He…. Juno and I didn’t like him the guy just gave bad vibes but neither of us wanted to say anything because he made our aunt so happy. When he left she followed him and it was so awful because she had never not been in my life. But dad… mom and dad were excited. They kept talking about how maybe Magpie would settle down, that we could all be one giant family….”Vespers paused again. Atlas snuck a peak around the corner and saw that his cousin was sitting on the couch again with Maggie rubbing his back reassuringly, many of the others gathered around as they listened. Except… for Calliope and Cuckoo who sat a little ways apart. The two shared a look, as if they knew something that was about to happen.

Vespers shook his head and continued. So we started hearing reports of this deadlight couple and how the woman was going to different human villages and doing stuff for them. Fixing houses, growing their crops, making and doing things for them, and the humans loved. I think she liked it, a whole lifetime of being told to restrain herself and now she was being admired and adored. But as time went on the reports changed. Villages were being leveled, entire countrysides being reshaped, and too many deadlights went missing. So my grandparents tracked the two of them down to this little mountain village and assembled a small band to go and get them. Juno and I had to stay behind but… mom told us what happened later.“What happened?” Jelly asked in almost a whisper. “They found the place destroyed, the guy had Aunt Magpie wreck the place because he just felt like it and….. She was such an idiot she just went along with it.” Vespers was angry now, his hands clenched into fists as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. “She… she was so wrapped up in making him happy and being able to do whatever the hell she wanted without being told no… she was such an idiot. And then the deadlights…… the guy had Magpie make him a coat. He went around killing deadlights and instead of eating them or anything he attached them to the coat…. Like trophies….. There was a shocked silence, Cosmos reached out and held Vespers hand.Vespers took a deep breath and continued, “ they… shielded him, their energy, so no one could touch him. Mom said…. mom said you could still feel who they used to be, like ghosts…. So they attacked the group and Aunt Magpie tried to fight but she and dad went head to head and it got nasty. He can’t do what she does but my dad is no pushover. The others went after her lover, but with the coat he couldn’t be touched…. so at one point Aunt Magpie just loses it and the whole mountain starts shaking. That’s when she kinda realized just what she was doing and tried to stop it but she was so angry the entire section of the mountain they were on just crumbled away…. Magpie managed to shield some people but not everyone. My grandfather was nearly crushed….. and Uncle Casper died…. the guy had grabbed ahold of that damn coat at the last second but it didn’t do anything to protect him since he wasn’t wearing it…. and you want to know something? Aunt Magpie’s lover ran away…. guy wasn’t really all that strong just really manipulative. Magpie had surrendered herself and he ditched her.”“Did…. did they catch him?” Belinda asked.Vespers shook his head, “don’t know… dad said the dude is dead in the dirt but I don’t really know.” He paused with a heavy sigh. “Anyways, they held this impromptu trial for Aunt Magpie and decided to lock her away in a pocket dimension to rot. Then divided up the deadlights from the coat. Better to absorb them then let the poor things stay exposed and aware….”

There was another long moment of silence as they all processed what was said.

“So… your parents don’t like that your visiting your aunt?” Billy finally asked.Vespers shook his head, “know they don’t like that I’m feeding her. Maggie and I shepherd people into her home since she can’t really hunt anymore. I’m serious when I say the left her to rot.”“Is that why they don’t like you Maggie?” Jelly asked.“Yes,” Maggie responded, “that and well…. I told you before I don’t remember where I came from. Just a lot of blurred images and voices… and then Aunt Magpie… I stumbled into her home on accident and she just took me in. It’s also how I met Vespers and Juno and we’ve been friends ever since…. well Juno and I used to be friends…”“Why not now?” Pepper asked with a frown.“Because Juno is daddy’s perfect little prodigy and she’s all about his way of doing things.” Vespers snapped before storming out the front door, Cosmos not far behind.

Atlas himself ran back up the stairs and to the hatch that led to the roof. Climbing up and breathing in the twilight air. Everything was so peaceful up here. The quiet darkness save for the occasional sound of traffic and evening birdsong.So much brighter than Aunt Magpie’s home. Cousin Juno said to leave her…. did that mean like Vespers said?

Did she deserve it?

[hootpoop12]

for the ship thing: johnrezi, preferably black

who hogs the duvet

John cause he’s bigger and Terezi on principle.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

They both do it in their own ways. John is more likely the person who will initiate and text to ask how she’s doing where he’ll tease her which eventually leads to shit shes been actually struggling with. For Terezi she’ll bring it around on him at some point to get him angry and venty where he’ll talk about shit that actually bothered him that day. They’re both repressive people who feel weird being genuine with each other since the core of their relationship is based around joking and teasing each other but they are also depressive people who get what the other is going through.

who gets up first in the morning

Terezi goes to bed last and gets up first. John wants to know her secrets.

who suggests new things in bed

Give me a T! E! R! yeah anyways I headcanon John being on the ace spectrum and not that interested in sex stuff so on the occasion when they do go at it it’s Terezi whipping out the bad dragon dildis and trying to convince him why they should use it over his laughs.

who cries at movies

Eh, I don’t really think either of them are really people to cry at movies. I imagine John does over stupid shit like Conair though so I guess him.

who gives unprompted massages

Terezi gives unprompted commands to John to massage her. John tries to make it as bad as possible.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

Hmmmm, they don’t fuss over each other but I’d say they’d be accommodating at least. John will make her soup but the kind she dislikes and Terezi will make the couch up and set up the TV but play movies he hates. They both get the worst tasting medicine.

who gets jealous easiest

Neither. They are so not those kind people in my opinion? I definitely see them not caring if the other person dates other people, finds others attractive (1M GONN4 FUCK H3R F1RST JOHN), or even if they just rather hang with other people. They got a real healthy relationship and there are times where Terezi will bluntly tell John she wants to hang with Karkat alone or chill with Vriska and John completely understands. Sometimes he just wants to be with Jade or the rest of the betas.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

Terezi probably likes the weirdest asmr shit but John’s love of 90′s and early 2000′s makes anyone cringe.

who collects something unusual

Terezi. She’s just weird guys. Probably collects strange hairs she finds on her body or something (people who know me in real life don’t interact)

who takes the longest to get ready

Eh, probably John only because he takes the time to put on pants. Terezi’s not one for dolling herself up, like, she doesn’t even brush her hair most of the time.

who is the most tidy and organised

John puts shit away but then can never find it (he used to just ask his dad where stuff was and never had to look for it himself) while you can’t see Terezi’s floor but she can sniff out an expired coupon from three years ago.

who gets most excited about the holidays

John all the way, the dudes got holiday spirit. Not to make this sadstuck™ but I feel like after his dad died and he didn’t get to do all his old traditions he realized he didn’t appreciate what he had until it was gone. He probably got annoyed by his dad’s Christmas decoration extravaganza growing up but after the death he puts on a huge show for everyone to honor the memory/cheer himself up. Terezi probably doesn’t really get the point for most of the holidays humans celebrate but finds the gauche/tacky colors and food pretty great so for once she doesn’t really tease John about it. In fact, she kinda joins in with her own personal twist on things which John secretly adores and appreciates.

who is the big spoon/little spoon

eyyy recently drew this. It Terezi. She a koala at night.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

Like, both get competitive cause they like one upping each other but at the same time for these two it’s all about having fun and smack talk. When one does lose they genuinely don’t care and keep playing or look for other things to do. Plus Terezi getting competitive with Vriska in the past has obviously not ended well so maybe she’d worked to tone it down.

who starts the most arguments

They’re pitch so they automatically argue a lot but actual disagreements? Terezi. She sometimes needles too much or will say something a little too far. John is also guilty of the second part cause we all know he can sometimes be tactless.

who suggests that they buy a pet

Terezi ‘cause Johns got Casey so maybe she wants a daughter too, dammit???

what couple traditions they have

John continues to move her scalemates around to fuck with her for the rest of their lives and she still draws him the shittiest maps. He keeps all of them like a dad.

(comic of her sending a shit map with good luck?)

what tv shows they watch together

Star trek! It has moral dilemmas for Terezi and shitty actors for John what more could they possibly want??

what other couple they hang out with

Dave/Karkat and Rose/Kanaya obviously. If Roxy and Calliope are a canon thing them too. John, Terezi, and Roxy all got a bond via retcon man.

how they spend time together as a couple

John’s pranks tend to be a bit more goofy and Terezi’s can border on cruel.

who made the first move

Terezi. John knows about her romance junk pre-retcon and he doesn’t wanna pressure her and be added to the list of shit experiences for her.

who brings flowers home

John to make Terezi uncomfortable. It brings him great joy to see the pained look she gives him before they get set on fire and he realizes he spent $20 for a quick joke.

who is the best cook

Uhh. Definitely, John. His dad forced him to cook for bonding moments and he hangs with Jane and watches her cook. Terezi takes liberties to make the food more “interesting”.

(to all the people who requested Johnrezi thanks a bunch it means a lot when ya’ll asks for requests! I’m onto Davek//at requests next!)

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 12 (Epilogue 2 Page 4)

[starcitizenprivateer]

Spectrum Spectator: One Step Back

Daisy Wences: Welcome once again to your show of shows, Spectrum Spectator. Where we take everything broadcast during the past week and blend it into a concentrated, easy-to-digest paste. I’m your entertainment emissary, Daisy Wences, and with me as always is this other person.

Lars Gonall: Why do I feel like the job title ‘Paste Purveyor’ would go over better with my parents than ‘Spectrum Critic?’

Daisy Wences: Because even though you’re a grown adult, you still live your life seeking your parents’ approval?

Lars Gonall: Once again, thanks to Daisy, I’m going to have some deep thinking to do after this show.

Daisy Wences: That’s why we’re all here, right? Profound self-epiphanies.

Lars Gonall: Profound epiphanies through the prism of spectrum are the perfect medium for self-reflection.

Daisy Wences: Which reminds me, have you caught Far From Home yet?

Lars Gonall: I have…

Daisy Wences: Yes! How many episodes have you done? Ten? Twenty?

Lars Gonall: Daisy has been begging me to check it out since she discovered it last week and I gotta say… it’s not for me.

Daisy Wences: What?!

Lars Gonall: For those of you unfamiliar, Far From Home is this personal diary and advice show that a solo pilot puts out from his Freelancer. It’s basically like when you get seated next to your friend’s uncle at a dinner party and they just want to talk about how good ships used to be in the old days.

Daisy Wences: You did not just compare Old Jegger to someone’s random uncle.

Lars Gonall: Later, when you go back and check the recording, you will see that I, in fact, did exactly that.

Daisy Wences: Despite what Lars says, I still think that this is a show worth checking out. I heard about it on a DIY forum when I was trying to fix a glitchy heater in my hab. Of course, instead of actually fixing the stupid thing, I wound up spending the rest of the night consuming every Far From Home episode I could find. Maybe because part of me always wondered what it would be like on the drift. Hearing him talk, you start to understand the difference between a solitary life and a lonely one.

Lars Gonall: I will say that I appreciated how he seemed very much about everyone finding their own best way to live. It wasn’t just him preaching about how we should all be space hermits. And I’ll also give it a few more points now that there’s that rumor circulating that he’s dead.

Daisy Wences: Wait? What?

Lars Gonall: You didn’t see this? It was on the Galactapedia page. Turns out he hasn’t put out an episode since the last one he did from Charon. People are speculating that something might have happened to him. A bunch of fans have started trying to organize a search for him.

Daisy Wences: He is a hermit, right? I bet he’s simply staying off the grid for a bit. I’m sure this is just one of those dumb spectrum rumors and he’ll show up in a week or two with a great story to tell. At least, I really hope that’s what’ll happen.

Lars Gonall: Yeah. You’re probably right. Just promise me that you’re not gonna run away to join the search.

Daisy Wences: Don’t worry, Lars. I’m not leaving the show… yet.

Lars Gonall: Since we got to talk about one of your new favorite shows, you want to talk about my new crush that you can’t stand?

Daisy Wences: Fine. Go ahead.

Lars Gonall: From the makers of such fine reality vids like Kid Empire and Weapon Wars: Shoot-Out Edition comes my brand new obsession, Face to Face, a dating show with a brilliant premise.

Daisy Wences: You mean an insanely creepy premise.

Lars Gonall: Oh, yeah. Won’t argue with you there. This is definitely a show for people who love cringe binging. All the contestants are sent into one of those new and really expensive BiotiCorp machines and given identical faces.

Daisy Wences: Want to know how they picked what that face would look like? They created a composite head from all the main single person’s exes. How messed up is that?

Lars Gonall: The show claims they’re trying to create an ideal partner for the selector by looking at their previous romantic choices. The lucky -

Daisy Wences: I guess that’s how they could be described…

Lars Gonall: The lucky bachelor is a fitness instructor from New Babbage named Eris who goes on dates with all the contestants and eliminates anyone they don’t like. Once eliminated, the candidates are reverted back to their original face.

Daisy Wences: I swear it’s like some bizarre cult. One of the contestants who got cut was sobbing because they didn’t want their old face back. I know it’s pretty common these days to adjust how you look, but the way they were all losing their identity while trying to become someone else’s fantasy made me really uncomfortable.

Lars Gonall: You had a much darker take than I did. For me, it was fun to watch people get to know each other in a situation where their looks didn’t matter. Eris couldn’t judge people on who was attractive or not, it was all about if they had a connection. What’s really going to be interesting is that the winning contestant gets to reconstruct their face however they want. Do they go with their original? An ‘improved’ version of themselves? Keep their new face? So many choices.

Daisy Wences: Do you think the people at BiotiCorp would have made the Calliope if they knew that this was how their amazing invention was going to be used?

Lars Gonall: I assume all scientists hope for a day when their discovery or invention can be used to help strangers pretend to be in love on spectrum.

Daisy Wences: Shall we move on to a show that we were actually scheduled to review this week?

Lars Gonall: Even better, a show that we both actually liked.

Daisy Wences: Last Friday saw the premiere of the much-heralded docu-series One Step Back. Filmed on Asura, it’s a hard look at what life is like for former criminals trying to re-enter society. The first episode focuses on Liz ‘Necro’ Salguero, a convicted shipjacker who was released from Quarterdeck last year.

Lars Gonall: You get a real sense of what it must be like to have this criminal reputation hanging over your head. At one point, she goes through a checkpoint on her way to sell some scrap and seeing how security swarms all over her to do a deep scan was really surprising to me. Maybe this is just my naïveté talking, but I always figured that serving time was enough to clear your record. It turns out though that the Advocacy keeps you flagged as a person of interest for a long time after you’ve been incarcerated, and a lot of people get access to those records.

Daisy Wences: One of the people they interview is a criminal rights advocate who is trying to change the law so that once your crime is atoned for, your records remained sealed unless you are charged with a crime again. We expect these people to be able to make a life for themselves, but with their past available to potential employers, many can’t find work and even when they do, it’s a long hard road to earning trust and respectability again.

Lars Gonall: This isn’t exactly the same thing, but I do remember this one time growing up when my dad accidentally clipped a ship that was rising out of hangar bay. He got flagged and until he paid off the fine, we weren’t allowed to use a lot of public landing areas. It was only a week, but still.

Daisy Wences: I had no idea you came from an outlaw family. It’ll be interesting to see what the show does to help forward the dialogue about all this. Apparently, since the episode was released, Liz has been overwhelmed with job offers and people looking to help her out. Pretty touching really. Of course, that’s just one person.

Lars Gonall: Strongly recommend you give this show a try. It’s not exactly lighthearted, but it’s doing some important things.

Daisy Wences: All right, on that surprisingly serious note, we have to take our first break. When Spectrum Spectators returns, we’ll be discussing the new Tavi Arteaga comedy, One Mann’s Treasure, about a young woman named Aleria Mann who leaves her bustling life in Prime to run her sick mother’s salvaging business out in the far reaches of Corel.

Lars Gonall: I’m pretty excited because we haven’t reviewed a ‘the character’s name is a title pun’ show in a long time, so be sure to stick around and we’ll be right back.

[inexcon]

RSI Comm-Link: Spectrum Spectator: One Step Back

Daisy Wences: Welcome once again to your show of shows, Spectrum Spectator. Where we take everything broadcast during the past week and blend it into a concentrated, easy-to-digest paste. I’m your entertainment emissary, Daisy Wences, and with me as always is this other person.

Lars Gonall: Why do I feel like the job title ‘Paste Purveyor’ would go over better with my parents than ‘Spectrum Critic?’

Daisy Wences: Because even though you’re a grown adult, you still live your life seeking your parents’ approval?

Lars Gonall: Once again, thanks to Daisy, I’m going to have some deep thinking to do after this show.

Daisy Wences: That’s why we’re all here, right? Profound self-epiphanies.

Lars Gonall: Profound epiphanies through the prism of spectrum are the perfect medium for self-reflection.

Daisy Wences: Which reminds me, have you caught Far From Home yet?

Lars Gonall: I have…

Daisy Wences: Yes! How many episodes have you done? Ten? Twenty?

Lars Gonall: Daisy has been begging me to check it out since she discovered it last week and I gotta say… it’s not for me.

Daisy Wences: What?!

Lars Gonall: For those of you unfamiliar, Far From Home is this personal diary and advice show that a solo pilot puts out from his Freelancer. It’s basically like when you get seated next to your friend’s uncle at a dinner party and they just want to talk about how good ships used to be in the old days.

Daisy Wences: You did not just compare Old Jegger to someone’s random uncle.

Lars Gonall: Later, when you go back and check the recording, you will see that I, in fact, did exactly that.

Daisy Wences: Despite what Lars says, I still think that this is a show worth checking out. I heard about it on a DIY forum when I was trying to fix a glitchy heater in my hab. Of course, instead of actually fixing the stupid thing, I wound up spending the rest of the night consuming every Far From Home episode I could find. Maybe because part of me always wondered what it would be like on the drift. Hearing him talk, you start to understand the difference between a solitary life and a lonely one.

Lars Gonall: I will say that I appreciated how he seemed very much about everyone finding their own best way to live. It wasn’t just him preaching about how we should all be space hermits. And I’ll also give it a few more points now that there’s that rumor circulating that he’s dead.

Daisy Wences: Wait? What?

Lars Gonall: You didn’t see this? It was on the Galactapedia page. Turns out he hasn’t put out an episode since the last one he did from Charon. People are speculating that something might have happened to him. A bunch of fans have started trying to organize a search for him.

Daisy Wences: He is a hermit, right? I bet he’s simply staying off the grid for a bit. I’m sure this is just one of those dumb spectrum rumors and he’ll show up in a week or two with a great story to tell. At least, I really hope that’s what’ll happen.

Lars Gonall: Yeah. You’re probably right. Just promise me that you’re not gonna run away to join the search.

Daisy Wences: Don’t worry, Lars. I’m not leaving the show… yet.

Lars Gonall: Since we got to talk about one of your new favorite shows, you want to talk about my new crush that you can’t stand?

Daisy Wences: Fine. Go ahead.

Lars Gonall: From the makers of such fine reality vids like Kid Empire and Weapon Wars: Shoot-Out Edition comes my brand new obsession, Face to Face, a dating show with a brilliant premise.

Daisy Wences: You mean an insanely creepy premise.

Lars Gonall: Oh, yeah. Won’t argue with you there. This is definitely a show for people who love cringe binging. All the contestants are sent into one of those new and really expensive BiotiCorp machines and given identical faces.

Daisy Wences: Want to know how they picked what that face would look like? They created a composite head from all the main single person’s exes. How messed up is that?

Lars Gonall: The show claims they’re trying to create an ideal partner for the selector by looking at their previous romantic choices. The lucky -

Daisy Wences: I guess that’s how they could be described…

Lars Gonall: The lucky bachelor is a fitness instructor from New Babbage named Eris who goes on dates with all the contestants and eliminates anyone they don’t like. Once eliminated, the candidates are reverted back to their original face.

Daisy Wences: I swear it’s like some bizarre cult. One of the contestants who got cut was sobbing because they didn’t want their old face back. I know it’s pretty common these days to adjust how you look, but the way they were all losing their identity while trying to become someone else’s fantasy made me really uncomfortable.

Lars Gonall: You had a much darker take than I did. For me, it was fun to watch people get to know each other in a situation where their looks didn’t matter. Eris couldn’t judge people on who was attractive or not, it was all about if they had a connection. What’s really going to be interesting is that the winning contestant gets to reconstruct their face however they want. Do they go with their original? An ‘improved’ version of themselves? Keep their new face? So many choices.

Daisy Wences: Do you think the people at BiotiCorp would have made the Calliope if they knew that this was how their amazing invention was going to be used?

Lars Gonall: I assume all scientists hope for a day when their discovery or invention can be used to help strangers pretend to be in love on spectrum.

Daisy Wences: Shall we move on to a show that we were actually scheduled to review this week?

Lars Gonall: Even better, a show that we both actually liked.

Daisy Wences: Last Friday saw the premiere of the much-heralded docu-series One Step Back. Filmed on Asura, it’s a hard look at what life is like for former criminals trying to re-enter society. The first episode focuses on Liz ‘Necro’ Salguero, a convicted shipjacker who was released from Quarterdeck last year.

Lars Gonall: You get a real sense of what it must be like to have this criminal reputation hanging over your head. At one point, she goes through a checkpoint on her way to sell some scrap and seeing how security swarms all over her to do a deep scan was really surprising to me. Maybe this is just my naïveté talking, but I always figured that serving time was enough to clear your record. It turns out though that the Advocacy keeps you flagged as a person of interest for a long time after you’ve been incarcerated, and a lot of people get access to those records.

Daisy Wences: One of the people they interview is a criminal rights advocate who is trying to change the law so that once your crime is atoned for, your records remained sealed unless you are charged with a crime again. We expect these people to be able to make a life for themselves, but with their past available to potential employers, many can’t find work and even when they do, it’s a long hard road to earning trust and respectability again.

Lars Gonall: This isn’t exactly the same thing, but I do remember this one time growing up when my dad accidentally clipped a ship that was rising out of hangar bay. He got flagged and until he paid off the fine, we weren’t allowed to use a lot of public landing areas. It was only a week, but still.

Daisy Wences: I had no idea you came from an outlaw family. It’ll be interesting to see what the show does to help forward the dialogue about all this. Apparently, since the episode was released, Liz has been overwhelmed with job offers and people looking to help her out. Pretty touching really. Of course, that’s just one person.

Lars Gonall: Strongly recommend you give this show a try. It’s not exactly lighthearted, but it’s doing some important things.

Daisy Wences: All right, on that surprisingly serious note, we have to take our first break. When Spectrum Spectators returns, we’ll be discussing the new Tavi Arteaga comedy, One Mann’s Treasure, about a young woman named Aleria Mann who leaves her bustling life in Prime to run her sick mother’s salvaging business out in the far reaches of Corel.

Lars Gonall: I’m pretty excited because we haven’t reviewed a ‘the character’s name is a title pun’ show in a long time, so be sure to stick around and we’ll be right back.

http://bit.ly/2TPR9Bf

[sad-ch1ld]

via RSI Comm-Link

Daisy Wences: Welcome once again to your show of shows, Spectrum Spectator. Where we take everything broadcast during the past week and blend it into a concentrated, easy-to-digest paste. I’m your entertainment emissary, Daisy Wences, and with me as always is this other person.

Lars Gonall: Why do I feel like the job title ‘Paste Purveyor’ would go over better with my parents than ‘Spectrum Critic?’

Daisy Wences: Because even though you’re a grown adult, you still live your life seeking your parents’ approval?

Lars Gonall: Once again, thanks to Daisy, I’m going to have some deep thinking to do after this show.

Daisy Wences: That’s why we’re all here, right? Profound self-epiphanies.

Lars Gonall: Profound epiphanies through the prism of spectrum are the perfect medium for self-reflection.

Daisy Wences: Which reminds me, have you caught Far From Home yet?

Lars Gonall: I have…

Daisy Wences: Yes! How many episodes have you done? Ten? Twenty?

Lars Gonall: Daisy has been begging me to check it out since she discovered it last week and I gotta say… it’s not for me.

Daisy Wences: What?!

Lars Gonall: For those of you unfamiliar, Far From Home is this personal diary and advice show that a solo pilot puts out from his Freelancer. It’s basically like when you get seated next to your friend’s uncle at a dinner party and they just want to talk about how good ships used to be in the old days.

Daisy Wences: You did not just compare Old Jegger to someone’s random uncle.

Lars Gonall: Later, when you go back and check the recording, you will see that I, in fact, did exactly that.

Daisy Wences: Despite what Lars says, I still think that this is a show worth checking out. I heard about it on a DIY forum when I was trying to fix a glitchy heater in my hab. Of course, instead of actually fixing the stupid thing, I wound up spending the rest of the night consuming every Far From Home episode I could find. Maybe because part of me always wondered what it would be like on the drift. Hearing him talk, you start to understand the difference between a solitary life and a lonely one.

Lars Gonall: I will say that I appreciated how he seemed very much about everyone finding their own best way to live. It wasn’t just him preaching about how we should all be space hermits. And I’ll also give it a few more points now that there’s that rumor circulating that he’s dead.

Daisy Wences: Wait? What?

Lars Gonall: You didn’t see this? It was on the Galactapedia page. Turns out he hasn’t put out an episode since the last one he did from Charon. People are speculating that something might have happened to him. A bunch of fans have started trying to organize a search for him.

Daisy Wences: He is a hermit, right? I bet he’s simply staying off the grid for a bit. I’m sure this is just one of those dumb spectrum rumors and he’ll show up in a week or two with a great story to tell. At least, I really hope that’s what’ll happen.

Lars Gonall: Yeah. You’re probably right. Just promise me that you’re not gonna run away to join the search.

Daisy Wences: Don’t worry, Lars. I’m not leaving the show… yet.

Lars Gonall: Since we got to talk about one of your new favorite shows, you want to talk about my new crush that you can’t stand?

Daisy Wences: Fine. Go ahead.

Lars Gonall: From the makers of such fine reality vids like Kid Empire and Weapon Wars: Shoot-Out Edition comes my brand new obsession, Face to Face, a dating show with a brilliant premise.

Daisy Wences: You mean an insanely creepy premise.

Lars Gonall: Oh, yeah. Won’t argue with you there. This is definitely a show for people who love cringe binging. All the contestants are sent into one of those new and really expensive BiotiCorp machines and given identical faces.

Daisy Wences: Want to know how they picked what that face would look like? They created a composite head from all the main single person’s exes. How messed up is that?

Lars Gonall: The show claims they’re trying to create an ideal partner for the selector by looking at their previous romantic choices. The lucky -

Daisy Wences: I guess that’s how they could be described…

Lars Gonall: The lucky bachelor is a fitness instructor from New Babbage named Eris who goes on dates with all the contestants and eliminates anyone they don’t like. Once eliminated, the candidates are reverted back to their original face.

Daisy Wences: I swear it’s like some bizarre cult. One of the contestants who got cut was sobbing because they didn’t want their old face back. I know it’s pretty common these days to adjust how you look, but the way they were all losing their identity while trying to become someone else’s fantasy made me really uncomfortable.

Lars Gonall: You had a much darker take than I did. For me, it was fun to watch people get to know each other in a situation where their looks didn’t matter. Eris couldn’t judge people on who was attractive or not, it was all about if they had a connection. What’s really going to be interesting is that the winning contestant gets to reconstruct their face however they want. Do they go with their original? An ‘improved’ version of themselves? Keep their new face? So many choices.

Daisy Wences: Do you think the people at BiotiCorp would have made the Calliope if they knew that this was how their amazing invention was going to be used?

Lars Gonall: I assume all scientists hope for a day when their discovery or invention can be used to help strangers pretend to be in love on spectrum.

Daisy Wences: Shall we move on to a show that we were actually scheduled to review this week?

Lars Gonall: Even better, a show that we both actually liked.

Daisy Wences: Last Friday saw the premiere of the much-heralded docu-series One Step Back. Filmed on Asura, it’s a hard look at what life is like for former criminals trying to re-enter society. The first episode focuses on Liz ‘Necro’ Salguero, a convicted shipjacker who was released from Quarterdeck last year.

Lars Gonall: You get a real sense of what it must be like to have this criminal reputation hanging over your head. At one point, she goes through a checkpoint on her way to sell some scrap and seeing how security swarms all over her to do a deep scan was really surprising to me. Maybe this is just my naïveté talking, but I always figured that serving time was enough to clear your record. It turns out though that the Advocacy keeps you flagged as a person of interest for a long time after you’ve been incarcerated, and a lot of people get access to those records.

Daisy Wences: One of the people they interview is a criminal rights advocate who is trying to change the law so that once your crime is atoned for, your records remained sealed unless you are charged with a crime again. We expect these people to be able to make a life for themselves, but with their past available to potential employers, many can’t find work and even when they do, it’s a long hard road to earning trust and respectability again.

Lars Gonall: This isn’t exactly the same thing, but I do remember this one time growing up when my dad accidentally clipped a ship that was rising out of hangar bay. He got flagged and until he paid off the fine, we weren’t allowed to use a lot of public landing areas. It was only a week, but still.

Daisy Wences: I had no idea you came from an outlaw family. It’ll be interesting to see what the show does to help forward the dialogue about all this. Apparently, since the episode was released, Liz has been overwhelmed with job offers and people looking to help her out. Pretty touching really. Of course, that’s just one person.

Lars Gonall: Strongly recommend you give this show a try. It’s not exactly lighthearted, but it’s doing some important things.

Daisy Wences: All right, on that surprisingly serious note, we have to take our first break. When Spectrum Spectators returns, we’ll be discussing the new Tavi Arteaga comedy, One Mann’s Treasure, about a young woman named Aleria Mann who leaves her bustling life in Prime to run her sick mother’s salvaging business out in the far reaches of Corel.

Lars Gonall: I’m pretty excited because we haven’t reviewed a ‘the character’s name is a title pun’ show in a long time, so be sure to stick around and we’ll be right back.

[dreamofelectricmareep]

I don’t know how this happened, to be honest. I saw JCap and a car, and my mind went off with it. Thanks for all of the support, though. <3

Robbins Automotive (Part I)

“It looks amazing,” Callie said, walking around to inspect the now pristine rear bumper of her 1957 Ford Thunderbird. “How did you find the color? Didn’t they discontinue it ages ago?”

The tall, well-muscled mechanic with a military crewcut and sparkling blue eyes shrugged. “It beats me. I wasn’t the mechanic on this job.”

“Oh, well then can you bring him out so I thank him?” Callie asked. “I’d really appreciate that,” she craned her neck to read the nametag on the man’s shirt, “Tim.” She flashed her most dazzling smile.

Tim turned away and cupped his hands around his mouth, so he could be heard through the expansive garage. “Hey, sis!”

A few seconds later, a captivating woman in a white tank top and tight blue jeans made her way over. Callie couldn’t help but watch her blonde curls bounce with the woman’s every step. She couldn’t be the mechanic, could she? Callie had never seen a mechanic look like that.

“Hey, what’s up?” She nudged Tim with her elbow, wearing a playful grin.

For some reason, Callie still couldn’t seem to pry her eyes from the mysterious, perky woman. She had to fight the impulse to wipe the small grease stain from the woman’s hairline. The blonde was positively mesmerizing.

“Yeah, this lovely lady here wanted to talk to you about the ‘57 T-Bird.” Tim explained, gesturing towards Callie. “I’ll leave you ladies to it.” And with that, he went back to his workstation.

So the blonde was the mechanic. Callie found herself a little shocked at that. She certainly didn’t look like any mechanic Callie had seen. There was something effervescent and ethereal about her. It was almost hard to believe she was real.

Arizona brazenly reached her hand out for Callie to shake with a dimpled smile. She also had sparkling blue eyes, an even deeper shade than Tim’s. “Arizona Robbins.”

Once Callie had gotten her bearings, she met the proffered hand. The electricity of the contact was startling, exciting every nerve in her body, leaving goosebumps on her skin. Touching someone’s hand had never felt like that before. Her heart was racing. Callie felt like the conduit to a power surge. And that spark when their hands met – Arizona had to have felt that too.

It took a few seconds for Arizona to forfeit the intense staring contest. She looked at her pink floral converse as she absently scuffed them against the concrete floor. Arizona didn’t believe in true love, or love at first sight, or soulmates, but she couldn’t deny that this was the most profound and intense connection she’d ever shared with a perfect stranger. The woman before her was enthralling. She was an enigma, and there was something about her obsidian hair and ochroid complexion that made Arizona want to spend her life trying to decrypt her.

“Hi. Calliope Torres. No, it’s Callie Torres. No one calls me Calliope besides my dad. And, I have no idea why I just said that,” Callie rambled, shifting awkwardly with reddening cheeks. Way to go Callie ‘Verbal Diarrhea’ Torres.

What Callie internally chastised herself for, Arizona found positively charming. “Calliope. That’s a beautiful name,” she said with a soft smile.

“You don’t have to say that,” Callie said with an awkward laugh. “It isn’t. It makes me sound like some stupid ancient greek marble statue.”

“Well, I happen to like stupid ancient greek marble statues,” Arizona declared. “And your car. It’s super cool.”

“Uh, thanks,” Callie smiled. “It’s my baby. I can’t believe I let it get banged up.”

“How did you manage that?” Arizona asked with a quirky smile.

“Oh, God, so I made a bet with my ass of a best friend, Mark, that I could handle more tequila shots than him – and I can – but apparently I forfeited our bet because someone asked me to dance, and I really liked her, and I didn’t want to make a bad impression by keeling over on the dance floor.” Callie laughed softly.

“So, did it at least work out with the girl?” Arizona silently hoped that it didn’t.

“No. It felt sort of mediocre once we got sober,” Callie said with a laugh. “As most drunken hookups are. And Mark came to collect on the bet, and failed to mention that he didn’t know how to drive a manual before he backed into a light pole.”

Arizona tried to hide her smirk when she realized that the attraction between the two probably wasn’t one-sided. “Oof,” Arizona said. “I’d have killed him.”

“Yeah, I wanted to,” Callie said, rolling her eyes. “The idiot thought that a ‘57 Thunderbird had an automatic transmission.”

“I mean, a two-speed automatic transmission was introduced as an option for the T-Bird in 1955, so he’s not totally wrong,” Arizona supplied. “But, it certainly wasn’t standard, or even common.”

“You, uh, know a lot about cars,” Callie said with a laugh.

“I kinda have to. It’s my job.” Arizona smiled, gesturing to the bustling garage behind her. “Anyway, what did you need me for?”

“Oh, um, I’m just surprised you found the right paint color. Wasn’t it discontinued?”

“Yes, it was, but you are in luck. A couple years back that this guy brought a beat up T-Bird to Tim and I for a total restoration, and he was ridiculously rich. So rich, he actually had a paint company custom-make more paint in starmist blue.” Arizona laughed. “I remembered that there was some extra paint left from the job, and the guy didn’t want it, so it’s been sitting around in the storage room, and now some of it is on your bumper.”

“Oh, wow! I, um– Thanks. But I should totally pay you back for the paint,” Callie said, reaching for her purse.

“It’s not a problem. We don’t see Thunderbirds all that often,” Arizona said with a laugh, running her hand along the smooth exterior of Callie’s car.

The brunette couldn’t help but noticed the way her muscular arm flexed when she moved it. She wondered what it would look like flexing in other settings, namely on her bed, holding that toned body above her. Callie then promptly dismissed that line of pondering.

“But I feel like I should do something. You went to all this extra trouble for me. There’s got to be something I can do to repay you.” Callie leaned against her car and smiled softly, her eyes drawn to glimmering azure ones yet again.

“Just come back here next time this beauty needs attention,” Arizona said, laughing lightly. She was only half-referring to the car. “And, if you ever need someone experienced with a manual transmission to take it for a spin, you know where to find me.”

“You’ll definitely see me around,” Callie replied.

Arizona looked at the clock hanging on the wall. “I’ve got to get back to work. I promised I’d have a tune-up done by four. But I– ...I’ll look forward to seeing you around,” she said with a flirty smile. She really didn’t want to leave.

“Definitely.” Callie nodded. “It was nice meeting you, Arizona. Thanks for making my car look good as new.”

“My pleasure,” Arizona said, making her way into the garage and to her work station.

Once Arizona – or, more accurately, Arizona’s pert bottom – was out of view, Callie leaned back against her car, letting out a breath.

What the hell had just happened?

XXX

“So, what was up with the eye sex with that customer?” Tim hopped up onto the trunk of a car facing Arizona’s workstation, adjusting his Robbins Automotive baseball cap.

“You noticed?” Arizona asked sheepishly from the hood of the car she was working in.

“Everyone in the building felt that,” Tim explained, chuckling.

Arizona shook her head and rolled her eyes. “It was inappropriate, I know. It won’t happen again.”

“No, I, um, I have no idea what that was or how it happened, but she made you smile. You haven’t smiled like that since... Well, since Joanne. And before her, you used to smile all the time. You were the smiliest person I knew, Zo.” Tim shot Arizona a near mirror image of her dimpled grin.

Arizona cringed at the mention of her ex. “Don’t call me that,” she said, rolling her eyes, grabbing another wrench. “It wasn’t all her. I grew up, Tim. It was time for me to stop skating around on heelys and talking about things that won’t ever happen. It was time to face reality.”

“Med school could still happen,” Tim said. “And facing reality doesn’t mean giving up the things that make you, ...well, you. I miss the heelys, and I think any girl that can make you smile like that again is worth a shot. She could be good for you. Did you get her number?”

“Med school isn’t going to happen. That ship sailed. I said I’d work here for a year at most, just to pull together some savings, and then I’d take the MCATs. Three years later, I haven’t even began studying.” Arizona closed the hood of the shiny red pickup truck and turned to face her brother. “And I didn’t get her number, because I’m her mechanic. I doubt she’d be interested in me. She seems like she has better things to do.”

“You’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t even try. Just think about it. You’re the smartest person I know.” Tim shrugged, hopping off the trunk of the car. He hoped that maybe this time he’d get through to his stubborn sister. “And that customer sure seemed interested to me,” he remarked, walking towards his own station.

So Arizona wasn’t just imagining things?

XXX

Pulling into a spot beside her best friend’s shiny black BMW, Callie grabbed her bag and phone from the passenger seat, and began walking towards the building for her next class. She found Addison leaning against the brick building, looking perfect, as always, in her oversized sunglasses.

“Have I told you how much I hate psychiatry? Why on earth do we have to take this? I’m going to be a surgeon, not a shrink,” Addison ranted, walking into the building with Callie.

“I can see why having a basic understanding of psychiatry would be helpful to a surgeon,” Callie said, shrugging.

“Cal, you’re supposed to be bitching about psychiatry with me, not being reasonable,” Addison groaned with a perfectly manicured hand on her slim hip. “What’s got you all happy, anyway?”

“What do you mean?” Callie asked.

“I mean you look happy. You’re even walking happy,” Addison grumbled.

“Walking happy? Is that even a thing? How does one walk happy?” Callie asked.

“Torres!” Mark called from behind the duo, quickly catching up with them. “You look happy. Did you get laid?”

“No! Why is everyone asking me that?” Callie rolled her eyes.

“You are walking all girly and bouncy,” Mark explained.

“See, I told you it was a thing! So dish. Why are you so cheery?” Addison asked.

They walked over to the couches they always monopolized, down the hall from their next class.

Callie set her bag down and slumped into an armchair. “Nothing happened! I just got my car fixed. The mechanic, well, uh, they–  they had the right paint, even though it was discontinued years ago. They did a really good job.”

“Okay, I know you love your car a lot, but I’m not buying that,” Addison said. “What, did you flirt with the mechanic?”

When Callie looked away with a blush on her cheeks, Addison smirked.

“The mechanic? Really, Cal?” Mark nudged her with his elbow, smirking. “You could do better, like a ruggedly handsome plastic-surgeon-to-be.”

Callie laughed dryly. “Yeah, this,” she said, gesturing between herself and Mark, “is never going to happen again.”

“Don’t look at me!” Addison exclaimed, when Mark looked her way. “So, is the mechanic hot?”

Callie couldn’t help but smile. “The mechanic is very attractive, yes.”

“You should bring him to Joe’s on friday. Maybe see if you can take him home after,” Addison suggested with a raised eyebrow, poking Callie in the arm.

“I’d probably do something different for the first date,” Callie said, pulling out her phone to evade eye contact.

“Date? You’re ready to date again after the whole Hahn incident?” Mark asked.

Callie set her phone down a little harder than she meant to. “Can we not talk about Erica, please? But yeah, it’s been like five months. I think I should be over that by now.” It’d actually been four months and 23 days, not that she’d been intentionally counting.

“But your mechanic, Callie? Really? I get that you’re hurt and She-who-must-not-be-named probably destroyed your self esteem, but you could do better,” Addison stated, examining her manicured nails.

“What is wrong with a mechanic?” Callie asked, putting a hand on her hip.

“Nothing per se. It’s just, you’re a highly educated, ambitious orthopedic surgery superstar in the making, from a highly educated, successful family. You could do a lot better than a mechanic. Besides, if you brought a mechanic home, your dad would tear him to shreds.”

“When did you become such an elitist ass, Addie? Why can’t a mechanic be educated and ambitious?” Callie started collecting her things. “Not everyone starts out with parents on Forbes’ list, like Mark and I, or parents that are The Forbes.”

“Look, Cal, I don’t think she meant it like that,” Mark reasoned.

“I really like the mechanic. We flirted. It isn’t a thing! At least it’s not a thing yet. I mean, I don’t even have her number, and you’re so quick to judge her!”

“Oh, she’s a girl? We’re speaking the vagina monologues again?” Addison asked. “The devil in prada wasn’t an isolated incident?”

“Can girls even be mechanics?” Mark asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Ugh!” Callie stood abruptly. “I’ll see you around,” she said tersely, walking away.

XXX

For the next three days, Callie found one reason or another to stop by Robbins Automotive. The first day, she bought an air freshener. The second day she pretended to have a question about whether a car wash could compromise the new paint on her bumper. The third day, she needed air in her tires. The real reason she was there, of course, was to steal glimpses of the enthralling blonde mechanic she couldn’t stop thinking about.

And Arizona, of course, pretended not to notice, hard at work at her station. She couldn’t have the brunette catching on that she spent all day glancing at the door, waiting for her to come in. If she didn’t play hard to get, she’d be playing pathetic, single, and desperately enamored.

But today was Friday, and she had Saturday off. She didn’t want to make Callie keep coming by, hoping she’d notice her, which she did, because how could she not notice a woman that beautiful walking in? But still, it was time for this game to end. Callie wouldn’t keep coming around forever if she didn’t make a move.

When Callie entered the store and began pretending to look at windshield wiper model samples and air fresheners yet again, Arizona took a deep breath and did what she wanted for once. Not what she felt like she should do, or the only thing she could do. For the first time in a very long time, Arizona did something for herself.

“You could take me for coffee,” Arizona said with a heart-stopping dimpled grin.

Callie recognized her voice, whipping her head around from the now-familiar air fresheners to find the beautiful face that had been pervading her thoughts for days. She couldn’t stop the smile that broke out across her face. “I’m sorry?”

“When we last spoke, you asked if there was anything you could do to repay me for the custom paint. I really like coffee, and I’d really like to have some with you.” Arizona’s blue eyes were sparkling.

“I can definitely manage that,” Callie replied, unable to shake the stupid grin. “When were you thinking?”

Arizona looked at the clock, pretending to give it serious thought. “How about now?”

[ohlawsons]

the things that matter.

SUMMARY. Commander Natalie Shepard has a bit of a history with her flight lieutenant, but they've long since worked through any lingering awkwardness. Mostly. When she and Kaidan go on a double date with Joker and his girlfriend, it leaves them all thinking about the past, what-ifs, and all the things that are most important. Inspired by a double date prompt. NOTES. nat belongs to @reagans-ramblings! thank you for letting me write about your beautiful bi shepard i love her so much now with an ao3 link! LINKS. [ AO3 ] [ FFN ]

Thinking back, Joker wasn’t sure exactly whose idea it had been.

Setting up an elaborate double date between three of the galaxy’s busiest people and a woman whose job required her to be virtually impossible to track down was, strictly speaking, a terrible idea. Maybe Cal had suggested it, because she loved social shit like that. Or maybe he had, because social shit like that was a surefire way to convince Cal to take some shore leave on the Citadel. There was a pretty decent chance it had been Kaidan, for no other reason than Joker was more than willing to put some good-natured blame on the major. Hell, it might’ve even been EDI who’d brought it up, and in that case he was just glad he wasn’t on his way to meet her and Sam.

Although, awkward as EDI could be, a double date with her and the comm specialist could potentially be less awkward than a double date with Major Alenko and Commander Shepard — the now very pregnant Commander Shepard, who he’d once dated, and who his current girlfriend was definitely a little bit into.

Yeah, he’d rather take his chances with EDI and Sam.

But then his omni-tool chimed with a message from Kaidan saying they were running a few minutes late, and Joker typed up a reply that Cal was still MIA, and it was officially too late to back out. He fidgeted with his suit — again; it was only at the insistence of both Cal and Kaidan that he’d even agreed to wear it in the first place — and opened a vid call to Cal. “Any chance you’re still in another system? Running tragically late and we’ll have to miss dinner?”

She laughed. “Just landed, unfortunately. I’m on my way over.”

“Alright. See you then.” Not leaving the crew quarters just yet, Joker glanced reflexively over to where EDI’s display had once been. “EDI, let me know when Cal gets here.”

“Of course, Jeff. I can also alert the Commander with an updated estimation of your arrival, if you’d like.”

He groaned in response.

Fortunately for Joker, the Normandy was blissfully empty given that they were finally getting a rare bit of shore leave. Adams was still down in engineering, and he was pretty sure Tali and Traynor were both around somewhere, but with EDI’s help it had been easy enough to avoid them all evening. This whole ordeal — dressing up and looking presentable and going out to a fancy restaurant — was certainly not high on his list of ways he typically preferred to spend his time on the Citadel, and the last thing he wanted was to have to deal with comments from the rest of the crew.

But by the time he’d met Cal down in the CIC, he’d almost changed his mind about dressing up and going out; her short hair was combed back into its usual style, and she wore simple heels and a fitted suit with a black jacket and a crisp white shirt left partially unbuttoned, and she was quite possibly the best damned thing he’d seen since the start of the war. Or ever.

Joker pointed to her shirt. “You missed one,” he said, clearing his throat as he tried to find his voice.

“I prefer to think of it as giving you a head start, you know, for later, but I can always—” Cal moved to fasten another of the buttons, and he quickly retracted his statement.

“Actually, on second thought, it looks great.” He paused, not bothering to hide how his eyes roamed across her figure. “You look great,” he added, voice filled with sincerity, and emphasized the statement with a kiss, just a light brush of his lips against Cal’s.

“I look fucking fantastic,” she shot back, stealing a quick kiss of her own, “and you’re not so bad yourself. But I was promised dinner, and company that I haven’t spent the last four months with.”

He took her hand as she led him out through the main airlock and towards the skycar she’d brought. “Is it that bad?” Joker frowned; Alliance special ops weren’t easy during the best of times, but with the war, Cal’s N7 training had been pushed to the limits. He knew it had been draining her, but the level of exhaustion in her voice was still unexpected.

She gave little more than a shrug in answer, climbing into the skycar and not surrendering Joker’s hand even as she keyed in the location of the restaurant. “War sucks and everything’s classified.” Despite her words, Cal launched into a vague explanation of her most recent mission, detailing the soldiers she’d lost and the relative lack of success they’d had against the reapers. Joker chimed in where he could, adding sarcasm or supportive comments as needed., and Cal’s mood had nearly lifted by the time they reached the restaurant.

They were the first ones there, and a quick message to Kaidan confirmed that it wouldn’t be a long wait. The reservation was under Natalie’s name, and apparently being Commander Shepard meant no waiting in lines, because Joker and Cal were almost immediately led to a relatively secluded table near the back. The second couple joined them before they’d even ordered drinks, and Joker wasn’t sure whether he or Cal was being more obvious about their staring; he’d long since accepted that Kaidan would always manage to look unfairly handsome — and it didn’t hurt that his suit actually looked like it fit — but it had been a long time since he’d seen Nat out of uniform and she was practically glowing, with her hair pulled up into an elegant bun and the contrast of the deep green of her dress against her warm brown skin.

“Calliope Olson.” Cal stood, just a bit too quickly, and held out a hand first to Kaidan, then to Nat. “Joker talks about you all the time.”

Nat raised one perfectly arched eyebrow as she sat across from Cal. “Does he?”

It had been years since they were together — they were just kids on Arcturus, back then — but damn if it wasn’t suddenly very, very awkward. Repressing the sudden urge to get up and head straight for the bar, Joker shrugged. “What can I say? Cal’s a longtime fan of yours, and I aim to please.” Cal snorted at that, and Nat gave her a pointed, knowing stare; the urge to leave grew, and was accompanied by a rush of heat to his face.

“No, he’s right,” Cal admitted as she recovered from her laughter. “I’ve been following your career since Elysium. You caught my eye after Eden Prime,” she continued, turning towards Kaidan. “The only biotic originally on board, and with the woman who would become the first human Spectre? Of course I was interested.”

The two shared a sidelong glance; Kaidan looked a bit overwhelmed, but Nat seemed to be thoroughly unimpressed. She got recognized far too often for Cal to even phase her. Joker, who was fairly certain that his attempt to disappear into his chair was not working, was nearly prepared to intervene — as much as he loved how excitable Cal could be about everything from Nat to sniper rifles to wheat fields, this was not a good time — but was saved by a waiter bringing their drinks. The conversation lulled, and after a moment Kaidan set down his whiskey and cleared his throat. “So, Calliope, how’d the two of you meet?”

“He doesn’t shut up about you,” Nat interjected, sipping at her water, “but none of us ever really paid attention. ‘I’ve got a girlfriend, she’s just involved with top secret Alliance missions and she’s really hard to get a hold of’ isn’t exactly the most credible story.”

“Just Cal. And well, it was… actually…” She trailed off, giving Joker a look that clearly said help; it was never easy to bring up the two years Nat had been gone, especially for those who hadn’t actually discussed it with her before.

“It was while I was grounded,” he offered, knowing Nat would catch his meaning. “We were at a bar, she asked me to dance, I told her I didn’t feel like breaking a femur.” He shrugged. “Typical meet-cute. You know.”

If Kaidan was shaken by the mention of Nat’s death, he didn’t show it. “Somehow, I don’t have too hard of a time imagining that,” he said dryly, not quite rolling his eyes.

“What about you?” Cal asked, pausing to take a drink of whatever bright pink concoction she’d ordered. “How’d the two of you meet?”

Nat gave a flat, “My father,” at the same time that Kaidan said, “A tech issue.” They both laughed, and Nat explained, “My dad handpicked the original Normandy crew. He chose Kaidan specifically for his biotics, and Joker specifically to piss me off,” she added with a mock glare in his direction. “But actually met face to face? That… yeah, I guess that’s what it was. I had an issue with my omni-tool and Kaidan helped me work it out.”

“That’s so much better than ‘we saved the galaxy and they hooked up.’” Cal emphasized the words with air quotes, tossing a teasing grin in Joker’s direction.

“In my defense, I did try my best to stay out of their way.”

With dinner out of the way — which, if Kaidan were being honest, hadn’t gone as badly as he’d feared it might — the four of them began walking back towards Nat’s apartment. It wasn’t far, and the streets were quiet enough that there wasn’t a need to get a cab. They were in no particular hurry to get back, and Kaidan walked with an arm around Nat’s waist as they made their way through the Strip.

The bright spot of the evening, he thought, had been getting to spend so much time talking and reminiscing about their time on the SR-1, before things had gotten so damn complicated. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, as it were.

He watched as Cal and Joker walked a ways in front of them, hand in hand, laughter occasionally ringing out into the night. Kaidan had known that Nat and Joker had been together, before, but their double date had piqued his curiosity — less about the two of them, and more about Natalie, and how she’d been when she was younger. He wondered if she’d laughed more, back on Arcturus, back before she’d fought her way to hell and back and returned triumphant. Before life had hardened her, before all the scars that he knew so well — the ones he’d once learned and re-learned, after Alchera, and the cybernetics from Cerberus that still sometimes flared up.

Kaidan wouldn’t ever give up the woman Nat had become, but sometimes he still wondered.

“You’re quiet tonight,” Nat observed with a tilt of her head, eyes searching his face.

“Just thinking,” he assured her.

“About?”

“You.” He leaned over to place a light kiss on her forehead, right above her eyebrow, where he knew the bright lights of the Strip hid the soft glow of her cybernetics.

Nat gave a quiet laugh. “You’ve already got me, Kaidan, you don’t have to butter me up.”

“Mm. Let me enjoy it.” He fell silent for a moment, attempting to collect his thoughts; in front of them, Cal stripped off her jacket and tossed it at Joker, following it up with a less-than-subtle innuendo and laughter at his half-hearted protests. She wobbled a bit as she slid out of her heels, tucking them under one arm and falling back into stride with Joker. “It’s just— Do you remember being that… carefree, I guess?”

“No.” Her answer was automatic and unhesitant, but after a few moments she amended, “More than now, maybe, but never entirely. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone without some sort of weight on my shoulders.”

Kaidan’s only response was a thoughtful hmm as he considered all the things that had weighed her down over the years — himself included. He was under no illusion that the state of the galaxy was in any way his fault, but things could’ve perhaps been different if he’d been the one to receive the vision from the beacon on Eden Prime, all those years ago, instead of Nat stepping in because she’d wanted to save him.

But maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe it would always be complicated, and what mattered was being at Nat’s side when those complications arose.